When I Met Mrs Dean near Wuthering Heights
She was dressed in some very tight tights.
When I turned to Mr Lockwood
He said, “I wish she would
Wear something with those very tight tights!”.
There once was a man named Wong
Who spent all his days going bong!
An old Grandfather clock
Begged him to stop
As he did those bongs all wrong!
I met a young lady of Chester
Who is known as a bed tester.
When I found her in mine
It was after much wine
Singing songs with a jester from Manchester!
There once was a Gladioli called Gladdis
Who fell in love with a radish.
But a jealous old cabbage
Turned really quite savage,
As he loved that Gladioli named Gladdis!
There once was a poet named Hind
Who said, “the best is all behind!
My once great verse
It grows steadily worse!
And the critics all kick my behind!”.
Their youthful passion unlocks.
She loses shoes and frock.
Then the vicar knocks …!
When I attended a singles swingers party
With the great and the somewhat arty,
A young lady named Claire
Tied me up with Flair.
Those knots they were really quite arty!
A young lady known as Miss Ice
Has a reputation for not being nice.
Her real name is Coral
And she’s so very immoral!
But to me she’s always been nice …!
I met a group of young women
Who spoke of the joys of sinning.
But I, being shy
Hid in a pie
With the beautiful and talented Miss Winning!
When I met a young lady of Kampala
Who said, “I worked in a massage parlour”.
And I said, “but Coral!
You are so very moral!”.
She said, “they sacked me from that parlour …!”
K Morris - Poet 