When the wife of a man called Ted
Found a stiletto under their bed
She said, “I’m sure that this shoe
Belongs to my good friend Lou!”,
At which Ted turned and fled!
When The Wife of A Man Called Ted
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
When A Bold Young Man of Bristol
When a bold young man of Bristol
Threatened me with his pistol
I said, with a sigh
“You foolish young guy!
Throw down that water pistol!”.
Saturday Humour
I know a person of old London town
Who decided their sorrows to drown
But having no cash
They took action most rash.
Now the judge he is sending them down!
—
There once was a lady of London town
Who wore a perpetual frown.
In a leaky old tent,
In a place called Kent
She married a jolly old clown!
—
There once was a lady called Black
Who’s heels whent clickety clack.
When in a graveyard at night
She received a most terrible fright,
So ran and didn’t look back!
There Once Was A Ghost Called Banquo
There once was a ghost called Banquo
Who, having nowhere particular to go
Frightened poor Macbeth
Half to death
As all lovers of Shakespeare know.
Wednesday Humour
A beautiful young lady from France
Asked me whether I wished to dance.
As we started to waltz
I said, “are you false?”
She replied, “shush, just enjoy the dance!”.
—
When a naughty young lady called Samantha
Went to school with her panther
The teacher looked black
And said, “take it straight back,
I have no room for your panther!”.
Halloween Humour
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
I have often seen
The Devil dance and grin!
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
Or so I glean
She lit that giant pumpkin.
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who committed a most terrible sin.
Twas in the depths of the dark
When, with her brother Mark
She stole my prize pumpkin!
When A Sheepish Young Man Called Lee
When a sheepish young man called Lee
Came Sidling up to me
And said, “your girlfriend Grace
Has a great little place”,
With him I did agree …!
When A Sporty Young Lady Called Samantha
When a sporty young lady called Samantha
Went for a ride on a panther,
The creature, having a stomach ache
Said, “I shall not partake
Of any lunch today Samantha”.
There Was A Young Lady Called Holly
There was a young lady called Holly
Who’s favourite word was golly.
At her boarding school
She broke every rule
Along with her best friend Molly!
—
There was a young lady called Holly
Who’s favourite word was golly.
At her boarding school
She played the fool
Along with a cat named Molly!
—
There was a young lady called Holly
Who wrote poetry far from jolly.
Being rather posh
She said golly and gosh,
And she lived in an ancient folly.
There Was A Transhumanist Called Guy
There was a Transhumanist called Guy
Who said “I shall never die”.
But there is a spot,
A graveyard plot
Where his family pause and sigh.
K Morris - Poet 