There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
I have often seen
The Devil dance and grin!
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
Or so I glean
She lit that giant pumpkin.
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who committed a most terrible sin.
Twas in the depths of the dark
When, with her brother Mark
She stole my prize pumpkin!
When a sheepish young man called Lee
Came Sidling up to me
And said, “your girlfriend Grace
Has a great little place”,
With him I did agree …!
When a sporty young lady called Samantha
Went for a ride on a panther,
The creature, having a stomach ache
Said, “I shall not partake
Of any lunch today Samantha”.
There was a young lady called Holly
Who’s favourite word was golly.
At her boarding school
She broke every rule
Along with her best friend Molly!
—
There was a young lady called Holly
Who’s favourite word was golly.
At her boarding school
She played the fool
Along with a cat named Molly!
—
There was a young lady called Holly
Who wrote poetry far from jolly.
Being rather posh
She said golly and gosh,
And she lived in an ancient folly.
There was a Transhumanist called Guy
Who said “I shall never die”.
But there is a spot,
A graveyard plot
Where his family pause and sigh.
There was a young man of Crystal Palace
Who married a girl from Dallas.
I hear they met
On the internet
And he never went to Dallas.
There was a young shopgirl of Crystal Palace
Who was sometimes known as Alice.
On a day in November
Or was it December?
She left with the till for Dallas!
There was a young lady called Lou
Who never wore a shoe.
She would walk around town
In the vicar’s dressing gown.
Believe me its perfectly true!
—
There was a young lady called Lou
Who never wore a shoe.
As she walked down the street
In nought but her bare feet
The vicar he ran after Lou
—
There was a young lady called Lou
Who never wore a shoe.
As she strolled through the town
In the vicar’s dressing gown,
His wife she would run after Lou!
I know a young lady called Bess
Who’s love she did confess
To a man named Bill,
(She loves him still),
But alas he doesn’t love Bess!
There was a young lady called Lou
Who starred in movies most blue.
A priest named Hocking
Found them most shocking.
As for me, I watched them too …!
—
A naughty young lady called Lou
Stars in movies most blue.
My old friend Mark
Says he walks in the park
But I think he watches them too.
K Morris - Poet 