Some vampire humour
Vampire Humour
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
Alice
There was a young lady named Alice
Who lived in the great Crystal Palace.
She was a naughty little minx
And into all kinds of kinks.
But Alice, she had absolutely no malice!
When An Extremely Fat Old Whig
When an extremely fat old Whig
Called a young Tory squire a prig,
His opponent gave a big smile
And said, “sir, wait a while
And I will feed you another fig!”.
All Flesh is Dust
When a young lady named Rose
Said, “all flesh will, one day decompose”.
I said, “that prospect is fearful.
And you make me quite tearful,
As your standing right on my toes!”.
The Illegal Rave
A young man named Dave
Invited me to an illegal rave,
Where a girl called Claire
Sang her songs of despair,
Whilst shaving that young man Dave!
When a Young Lady Dressed in Heels
When a young lady dressed in heels
Showed me her collection of pet seals,
I said to her, “Claire,
This is a peculiar affair,
As your seals are all wearing heels!”.
Miss Hocking’s Lost Stocking
When a young lady named miss Hocking
Lost a fine silk stocking,
The bishop’s wife looked grim
And spoke of great sin.
And the bishop’s dog retrieved that stocking …
When an Ill-Begotten Young Man Named Cotton
When an ill-begotten young man named Cotton
Said, “many a girl’s name I’ve forgotten.
And now I’m drunk
As the proverbial skunk”.
I said, “sir, you are absolutely rotten!”.
My Swing
A young lady named Ling
Comes round to mine to swing.
The vicar’s pretty wife Lee
Takes tea with Ling and me,
And then we go and swing.
There Once was a Kindly Old Squire
There once was a kindly old squire
Who, on seeing his young housemaid Mariah
Go down on her knees
To shell beans and peas,
Went down to assist young miss Mariah.
K Morris - Poet 