Tag Archives: funny poetry

What a Caper!

When a young lady named Jane

Finished making love on a train,

An old man dropped his paper

And said, “Jane! What a caper!

Please can I see that again!”

See-Through

I met a young lady of Munich

Who said, “do you like my see-through tunic?”.

I said to her, “Rose!

You are wearing no clothes!”.

She said, “we dress like that in Munich!”.

In the Depths of the Churchyard Dark

In the depths of the churchyard dark

I met with a vampire named Mark.

When he went for my blood

With my great stake of wood

I ended that vampire in the dark!

When a Young Lady Said, with a Curse

When a young lady said, with a curse,

Do stop including me in your risqué  verse!”.

I said to her, “dear Lou,

Stop spanking me with your shoe!”,

Which caused that girl to curse even worse!

Flow

I know a young lady named Flow.

Her husband he left some time ago.

We laugh and drink

And sometimes I think,

On that strange lump in Flow’s patio …

There Once Was a Young Person of Woking

There once was a young person of Woking

Who had a very bad habit of poking,

Until they poked an old man

Who said, “I’ve got a plan,

To kick you around the town of Woking!”.

 

 

Lyme Who Taught His Dog How to Rhyme

There once was a poet named Lyme

Who taught his dog how to rhyme.

In the depths  of dark

He would howl and bark

And his dog would recite a rhyme.

Seals and High-Heels

A young lady who wore only high-heels

Had a fondness for swimming with seals.

An old vicar called Glass

Said, “we are but grass.

But I’m fond of seals and high-heels!”

The Beauty of Dawn

There was a young lady named Dawn

Who danced nude on the vicarage lawn.

The vicar’s wife Hocking

Found it most shocking

And the vicar he studied Dawn’s form.

Gale and the Whale

There once was a girl named Gale

Who got swallowed by a large whale.

But her heels being sharp

He said, “for my part,

I wish I had swallowed a snail!”