There once was a man most dissolute
Who, being possessed of a magic flute
Said, to beautiful Miss Sally,
“Let us explore love’s valley”.
But she disliked him, and his flute
The Magic Flute
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
1 Plus 1 Equals 3?
When a young lady named Lou
Said, “1 plus 1 equals 2”,
And her boyfriend, Mr Lee
Said, “shall we try 3?”.
Lou whacked him with her shoe!
When A Gorgeous Young Lady Named Lorraine
When a gorgeous young lady named Lorraine
Said, “your fantasies are far too mundane!
On hot nights I dream
Of lush strawberries with cream”.
I said, “you are covered in them, Lorraine!”.
Blank Verse
A young man named Frank
Composes verses known as blank.
I have spent ages
Pouring over Frank’s pages,
All of which are blank!
When A Young Man Driving A Hearse
When a young man driving a hearse
Said, “your verse is far too terse”,
I said, “man’s life is brief.
His joys must end in grief.
And please, may I drive that hearse!”.
The Plutocrat
When an extremely rude young man named Matt
Said, “you are a terrible, bloated old plutocrat!”,
I sipped my fine wine
And said, “shall we dine?”.
And I threw a crust to that Matt!
When A Young Lady Wearing Heels
When a young lady wearing heels
Spoke to me of dodgy deals,
I said, “I am moral.
But let us not quarrel.”
And then she lost her heels!
I Met A Girl In Heels
I met a girl in heels
Swimming with some very cute seals.
I said, “you’ll ruin those shoes!”.
But, after lots of booze,
I joined her in my heels!
Ban It
When a young lady named Janet
Said, “government should certainly ban it!”.
And I said, “I agree.
Do please have some tea”.
She said, “tea! I’d ban it!”.
My Old Friend Miss White
As I walked home late last night
I met my old friend miss White,
Who said, “some young women
Have their minds on sinning”.
Then she winked at me last night!
—
As I walked home late last night
I met my old friend miss White,
Who said, “some men
Take up their pen.
But it’s too hot for that tonight!
K Morris - Poet 