Tag Archives: funny poems

Foolish Mark

When a foolish young man known as Mark

Went for a walk in a haunted park,

A kindly old ghoul

Said, “you’re a fool!

But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”

There Once Was a Lady of Settle

There once was a lady of Settle

Who went and stood on a nettle.

She said such bad words

That it frightened the birds,

And shocked the good people of Settle!

A Ghoul in the School Swimming Pool

There once was a ghastly ghoul

Who haunted a school swimming pool.

When the headmistress Jane

Gave him the cane

He yelled and left that pool!

There Once Was a Vampire in Brighton

There once was a vampire in Brighton

Who liked all the people to frighten,

Until a waitress called Lake

Offered him a big steak,

Which frightened that vampire out of Brighton!

They Say there’s a Wicked Old Rake

They say there’s a wicked old rake

Who goes by the name of Lake.

But he’s also known as Kevin

And he’ll never get to heaven –

I think there must be some mistake!

Naughty Miss Harris

When I went with that naughty Miss Harris

For a dirty weekend to that beautiful Paris,

Her and Miss Honey

Stole all my money.

Dear reader, please send some money to Paris!

I have Heard Nymphs are Sometimes Found

I have heard nymphs  are sometimes found

In the fragrant wood.

 

 

It would be good to lie down

On the leafy ground

And take delight in Aphrodite.

 

 

But no, the wood

Is full of deep mud

And poor Miss Aphrodite

Would spoil yet another nightie!

An Act of Genorosity

When a young lady known as Miss Lee

Said, “I know that you don’t like me!”.

And I said, “you are nice,

But I have never liked vice!”,

She said, “what if I wave the fee …!

I’ve Just Met the Easter Bunny

I’ve just met a lady called Honey

Who was dressed as the Easter bunny.

When I offered her some lettuce

She said, “that’s not my fetish!

But sir, this bunny does love money!”