When I met a pretty Utilitarian last night
Who told me her name was Miss White,
We discussed pleasure and pain.
Then we did that again.
As reading Bentham filled us both with delight!
A Philosophical Encounter
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Tag Archives: funny poems
White Van Man
When a cultured young lady named Ann
Went and dated a white van man,
She spoke of great Shakespeare,
Which he found quite queer –
But they had fun in his van …
Feisty Miss White
When a pretty young lady named White
Said, “I will turn out the light”.
And I said, “then get into bed?”,
She smacked me hard on the head.
Those nurses can get feisty at night!
Those nurses they
Terrible Old Bore
When a rude young man named Moore
Said, “you are a terrible old bore!”.
I gave him a smile
And then, with great style,
I kicked Moore out of the door!
Too Much Partying!
When I met a young lady in Soho
Who told me her name it was Flow,
I bought her and Jane
Lots of overpriced fake champagne
And awoke with a bloke in old Soho!
The Vicar’s Sermon
When the noble and erudite vicar Winning
Gave a fine sermon condemning all sinning,
Rose and Miss Spink
Gave him a wink.
And the congregation all fell about grinning!
Grace the Magician
A magician who is known as Grace
Has made many men vanish without trace.
There’s a magic spade
And a secluded glade.
And the police are looking for Grace …
A Good Investment
When a scantily clad young lady in Chester
Said, “sir, won’t you become my investor?”,
And I asked her why.
She said, “my name is Sky.
And I’m a very hot prospect in Chester!”
Tea Anyone?
When a young man using Chat GPT
Asked it to make him some tea,
It wrote about Ceylon
And hallucinated about Ron.
But he still hasn’t got his tea!
When I Met the Poet Milton
When I met the poet Milton
In the supermarket shopping for Stilton,
And I spoke of “Paradise Lost”,
He said, “have you seen the cost
Of all these cheeses, especially this Stilton!”
K Morris - Poet 