I met a young man named Lear
Who dragged me around by my ear.
I gave him a clout
Then, with a great shout
I fed him to hungry Miss Rear!
I Met a Young Man Named Lear
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Tag Archives: funny poems
Miss Mar and the Vicar’s Spouse
I met a young lady known as Miss Mar
Who was speeding along in her brand new car.
She said, “I’ve left the vicar’s house
As I’m being chased by his spouse!”.
I said, “ah! That’s where you left your bra!”
Yvette’s Pet
I met a young lady named Yvette
Who asked me to be her pet.
She said, “join Varnish,
Whose wearing a harness”.
I said, “Yvette! We’ve only just met!”
I Once Met a Sad Old Vampire
I once met a sad old vampire
Who said, “I have lost all desire
To drink men’s blood”.
I said, “that’s good!”.
But I still didn’t trust that vampire!”
When I Took My Labrador for a Walk
When I took my Labrador for a walk
We engaged in a jolly good old talk.
I said to him, “Apollo!
Your stomach is too hollow!”,
He said, “pass me that knife and fork!”
A Young Lady Who is Really Nice
A young lady who is really nice
Is known for her love of spice.
Her name is Miss Lott
And she likes it hot.
And she also likes curry and rice!
Alexa Says it Won’t Rain Today
Alexa says it won’t rain today.
I put my coat on anyway.
Sure enough, it rains again.
Should I maintain
My faith in the reliability
Of modern technology?
No, today I shall pray
To the god of rain
And silently blast
The weather forecast!
Friends with Benefits
I know a young lady named Miss Kipps
Who is looking for a friend with benefits.
When I say, “honey,
I have no money”,
That Miss Kipps her sides she almost splits!
I’m Having a Bit of a Fling
I’m having a bit of a fling
With a girl who calls herself Ling.
My wife Moriah
Fancies the squire,
And the squire he likes to swing!
The Importance of Being Inclusive
When a young lady who is very inclusive
Said, “our love it will not be exclusive”.
And I said to Coral,
“Is that girl really moral?”,
She said, “no! but she is very inclusive!”
K Morris - Poet 