Tag Archives: funny poems

Miss Louisa

A young lady whose name is Miss Louisa

Said we should all go and please her.

We put pepper on her knees

Which caused that girl to sneeze,

As we all loved to tease Miss Louisa!

Strong Beer

When a young lady drinking very strong beer

Said, “my name it is really Miss Ria”.

A drunk little monk

Said, “I’m a hunk!”.

And they married in a brewery quite near!

High-Heels

When a young lady wearing high-heels

Said, “you don’t know how it feels

To be stared at all day!”,

They said to her, “dear Fay,

Perhaps you should wear more than high-heels …!”.

Gus and the Bus

When a daring young man known as Gus

Suggested we all make love on the bus!

And Miss Leven said, “Kevin!

Do take me to heaven!”.

I wondered, is it that kind of bus?

The Book Destroyer

There was a young man named Roy

Who said, “all these books I’ll destroy!”.

A bookish girl called Grace

Pushed over a heavy bookcase

Which flattened that young man named Roy!

Sally and the Alley

I met a young lady named Sally

Who was loitering in a dark alley.

I’ve heard many a confession

And can show great discretion.

And Sally lives at 2, the Alley …!

The Man and the Goat

There once was a man with a goat

Who went and wrote a very important note.

But the goat said, “I’m starving.

I will pay you 1 farthing!”.

So he did, and he ate that note!

Snooty Miss Glass

an extremely snooty young lady named Glass

Said, “you are so very working class!”.

My good friend Miss Kate

Said, “he owns an estate!”.

And now I am married to Glass!

 

 

The New Club

A new sex club has opened near me

And the locals are angry as can be!

But I hear from Miss Grub

That it’s a very good club,

So I’m going with the vicar to see …

I Once Met a Dog Drinking Beer

I once met a dog drinking beer

Who said, “do you know Miss Ria?”.

I said, “she’s divine

And fond of wine.

But dogs they should not drink beer!”