Tag Archives: funny poem

Shy Guy

I met a group of young women

Who spoke of the joys of sinning.

But I, being shy

Hid in a pie

With the beautiful and talented Miss Winning!

A Young Lady of Kampala

When I met a young lady of Kampala

Who said, “I worked in a massage parlour”.

And I said, “but Coral!

You are so very moral!”.

She said, “they sacked me from that parlour …!”

Whilst Singing a Very Old Hymn

Whilst singing a very old hymn

I spied that sinful Miss Lin.

She spoke of pleasure

In the sweet heather,

And I stopped singing that hymn …

The Dangers of Catching a Cold

When Rose took all her clothes off

The dear old vicar began to cough.

The weather being cold

Rose was most bold!

And the vicar he developed a cough …!

 

Dave Who Shaved on a Grave

When a young man named Dave

Decided to shave on a grave,

And a ghastly ghoul

Called him a fool,

He gave that knave a shave!

When a Young Lady Said, “Lets Pretend!”

As we drove fast round a very tight bend

A young lady said, “lets pretend I’m your girlfriend!”.

I said, “in this sports car

You and I will go far!”,

She said, “remember that this is only pretend!”

The Sad Demise of a Poet

A man in a boat on a moat

Went and wrote a poem on his goat.

But the poem was not profound

And the poet he sadly drowned

And the police they are questioning the goat!

There Once Was a Poet in a Garret

There once was a poet in a garret

Who lived all alone with his parrot.

I regret his verse

It grew steadily worse

Until he was murdered by his parrot!

 

 

Speculate to Accumulate

FOWC with Fandango — Speculate – This, That, and the Other (fivedotoh.com)

 

I met a young lady named Kate

Who said, “you must speculate to accumulate!”.

So I spent all my money

On Kate and Miss Honey.

And now I own just a plate!

The Charms of a Young Lady’s Arms

I met a young lady of Sheffield

Who said, “all the men they yield

To the sweet charms

Of my warm arms”.

I said, “what! In this muddy field!”