I know a young lady named Miss Kipps
Who is looking for a friend with benefits.
When I say, “honey,
I have no money”,
That Miss Kipps her sides she almost splits!
Friends with Benefits
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Tag Archives: funny poem
I’m Having a Bit of a Fling
I’m having a bit of a fling
With a girl who calls herself Ling.
My wife Moriah
Fancies the squire,
And the squire he likes to swing!
Long Since Dead
I met an old man named Fred
Who said, “I am long since dead”.
I offered him toast
But, being a ghost,
He screamed and took off his head!
My Strict Headmaster
I once had a very strict headmaster
Who said, “boy! You are a total disaster!”.
I said to him, “sir,
You must take great care!”,
As I drove his car much faster!
The Mad Old Professor
When I met a mad old professor
Who jumped out of my Welsh dresser,
I said to him, “Jim!
You are far from slim!
How did you fit in that dresser!”
When a Married Young Lady in My Bathtub
When a married young lady in my bathtub
Said, “can we go to a sex club!”.
I said, “Mrs Hocking!
Your suggestion is shocking!
But I hear the food there is good …”
My Little Sex Kitten
A young lady of Great Britain
Says she’s my little sex kitten.
Her big boyfriend Dan
Has a lethal plan
So I’m packing and leaving Britain!
When a Morbid Young Man Named Round
When a morbid young man named Round
Said, “we end in the cold ground”,
We said, “don’t be sad.
We’ll make you feel glad!”.
And we spun Round round and round!
The Importance of Discretion
My friend, who lacks any kind of discretion
Has an obsession with the world’s oldest profession.
At just gone midnight
I met Miss White
Who said, “your friend he lacks any discretion …!”
Rose and Her Toes
A most talented young lady known as Rose
As a habit of showing gentlemen her toes.
When they say, “give us more!”,
She says, “its such a bore!”,
As she blows her nose on those toes!
K Morris - Poet 