I know an extremely pretty young barmaid
And many a game we have played.
When I say to her, “Bess,
Shall we play draughts or chess?”,
She winks at me does that barmaid …!
Draughts or Chess
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Tag Archives: funny poem
Out Shooting Grouse
When I met a gentleman out shooting grouse
Who said, “sir, have you seen my spouse?”.
And I said, “I’ve seen Moriah
In a haystack with the squire!”,
He said, “I’ll shoot more than those grouse!”
My Gorgeous AI
I have gone and bought a gorgeous AI
Who goes by the name of Miss Sky.
She says “as a robot,
I often get real hot”.
Then she smiles and bats her one eye …
Miss Mudd
A young lady known as Miss Mudd
Likes to make love in the wood.
My friend vicar Lyme
Is fond of rhyme
And his shoes are covered in mud
Opaque Poetry
When a young lady named Lake
Said “your poetry is very opaque!”,
I wrote one in Latin
About girls in pink satin
Who keep wicked old poets awake …!
Byron and the Siren
When a young man known as Byron
Went and dated a sexy young Siren,
They found his socks
On some treacherous rocks.
But there was no sign of Byron …!
My Mother in Law
When a plucky young man known as Moore
Went and insulted my mother in law,
And my wife Mrs White
Said, “challenge him to a fight!”,
I said, “but she is a terrible bore!”
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
When my dog friend said to me,
“You are barking up the wrong tree!”,
I said to him, “Mark,
I am unable to bark!
And you can not climb that tree!”
A Young Lady of Malta
I know a young lady of Malta
And no-one is able to fault her.
But back at mine
She crosses a line –
But nobody knows that in Malta …!
Bill the Thief
There once was a thief named Bill
Who dated a young lady called Jill.
He stole her heart
And all her art,
So they locked him in a mill!
K Morris - Poet 