Hitman

He steaddied the rifle against the window ledge and, gazing along the barrel saw the target, on the beach far below.

Just another hit, he thought, as he watched the living dead hand in hand with a petite blonde. She was not his wife, he knew as much. That did not, of course bother him in the slightest. Other people’s sex lives where a matter of complete indifference to him. What was of concern to the hitman was the £20,000 he would receive once the target was neutralised.

She was pretty that blonde. He wouldn’t mind having her between his sheets, he thought as he lined up the rifle on the target.

The sea, far below roared and a gull walked, casually along the crumbling cliff edge.

It had been a stroke of luck finding this house abandoned at the top of the cliff path, he thought as his finger tightened on the trigger.

The man below bent to kiss the blonde, just as the finger of the hitman squeezed tight on the Trigger.

The report of the gun was, as he knew it would be, lost in the roar of the sea and the crying of the gulls.

As lips touched below, the bullet sailed high above the target’s head. Then the roar of the sea and the crying of the gulls was joined by another louder roar as the cliff, long the subject of erosion by wind and sea gave way, taking the house so precariously balanced at the cliff edge with it. The report had been the final straw that had broken the camel’s back, bringing house and hitman crashing down to the unforgiving waves below.

“Christ”, that was a near thing, the target said, as he gazed at the fallen rocks only some hundred yards from where he and his petite mistress stood, horror struck on the beach below.

The end

Friday Afternoon Humour

When a young lady named Lou
Got her shoe stuck in very strong glue
And she said, “help me get it off!”,
I said, with a delicate cough,
“But we are in public just now, Lou!”.

When I saw a witches coven
Dancing around a very hot oven
And they said, “come here”,
I offered them some beer,
And joined them in their coven.

Travelling By Train, At Night

Travelling by train
At night,
The light
Of another train
Passes by,
Then is gone,
It’s light
Lost in night.

And my
Wheels clack on,
Their sound
Echoing around,
Until my light
And sound,
Are lost in night.

A Young Lady Whose Name Is Rose

A young lady whose name is Rose
Jumped up and down on my toes,
Which caused me great pain,
But she did it again!
And then, she tweaked my poor nose!

When The Clock Does Stop

When the clock
Does stop,
You can wind
It again.
But when
The brain,
(Some say mind)
Ceases to be,
What shall become
Of you and me?
For there is no sun
To see,
And we,
Can not rewind.

“Home for Christmas” anthology free to download from The Reader

The Reader, (which is based at Calderstones in Liverpool), are offering a free “Home for Christmas” anthology. Being from that great city and, of course a poetry lover, I was keen to download and enjoy the anthology, which can be found here, https://www.thereader.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Home-for-Christmas.pdf.

“The Home for Christmas” anthology contains poems by Shakespeare, Robert Browning and Christina Rossetti amongst others.

Kevin

I Prefer My Comfortable Old Armchair

I prefer
My comfortable old armchair;
And the tick tock
Of my clock
With it’s traditional chime;
And poetry that rhymes.
To a world where
My old armchair
Is replaced
By minimalist furniture;
Clocks have a digital face
(And do not chime);
And I am told, that rhyme
Is out with the present time.

Tuesday Humour

when a gorgeous young lady named Fay
Said, “see how the lambs they play.
Come with me to yonder field,
Where all maidens must surely yield,
I said, “but Fay, its raining today!”.

A young lady named Jane
Sang a most mournful refrain.
I could repeat her song,
As it wouldn’t take long,
But its copyright of Jane!

A very ugly and most ancient squire
Said, “I must sire
Lots of healthy offspring
To please my king,
But my young wife has no desire!”.

I Saw A Child

I saw a child
In a pram
And smiled
For I am
Always glad
To see
A happy
Child.

Then, I was half-sad
That I have
No children to leave behind.
But then my mind
Turned to climate change, and I
Was half-glad
That when I die,

I will have
None to leave behind.