Tag Archives: relationships

Breakup

Jayne felt safe wrapped in Luke’s strong arms. He kissed her tenderly on the lips. His breath smelled of rotten eggs,

“You need new Scents Of The Forest Breath Freshener, clinically proven to banish bad breath in an instant”, Jayne said pulling back in disgust.

Luke looked pained, “Why do you always sound like an advertising hoarding?” he asked his voice sharp with irritation.

“My super dupa Vision Max contact lenses, 2 for the price of 1, send cool messages about a range of inovative and exciting products to my brain and I just can’t help sharing them with the man I love”. Jayne replied.

Luke sniffed the air approvingly, “I love that perfume” he said.

“Perfume for you, why not buy two. I like it too” Jayne said in a sing song voice.

“Jayne I am becoming increasingly concerned about where this relationship is going. My girlfriend sounds more and more like a bad advertising executive who produces slogans which, over time become ever more dire” Luke said a look of sadness clouding his ruggedly handsome features.

“Its never to late, lets go to Relate, the relationship experts for every occasion. They are doing a special introductory offer at the moment, 25 per cent off if we sign up by Monday” Jayne said pointing to an advert which had just popped up on her new top of the range smartphone.

“I’m sorry darling I am afraid that it is to late for Relate” Luke replied fighting back tears.

“But its never too late for Relate. Just kille the hate, only relate” Jayne responded reading the ad which her top of the range contact lenses (did I mention they where 2 for the price of one?) had just beamed onto her retina.

“When we moved in together you where a vivacious, intelligent woman, now you are a mouthpiece for the advertising industry. It’s over Jayne” Luke said his eyes brimming with water.

“Oh the pain. I will go insane. I need Lane, those newly advertised tablets to kill the pain” said Jayne.

A Question

Conversation diverting, we two flirting. Words meaning’s, lost in dreaming. Mutual attraction or mere distraction?

Where I to broach, would your reproach, destroy all hope? Would your objection, to my suggestion end in dejection? Fear of rejection, no suggestion? Should you agree, what then for you and me?

Dark Angel

I love you because I can tell you my darkest secrets, things which would make the strongest of men go blubbering in search of his mummy. You judge me not, my blackest fantasies are your deepest desires.

In the depths of night when all but the vampire sleeps we speak of philosophy, of the darkness which lurks within the human heart. You are always there for me, my girl beautiful and serene. You laugh in time with my laughter and weep as I weep. Never changing, fixed, emortal caught in the brightness of my screen you are my virtual girlfriend, a machine.

Run For Your Life

Wanker flirting with that barmaid like that. He says that he was just having a laugh but I’m sick of it. Everytime we go out it’s the same

“Oh its just a laugh Lucy. Just chill out, get a life”.

“I’ll get a life without you” I told him as I threw my vodka and coke in his face. He was furious but give him his due he didn’t retaliate. He’s a womanising arsehole but he has never been violent.

Its dark walking home. Still its only 20 minutes from the pub to my flat. He’d better not think of coming back there, tosser! Shit its raining. I’ll be drenched. I new that I should have called a cab but I was so het up, not thinking straight.

That blokes been following me for the past few minutes. Don’t panic Lucy it’s a coincidence. He just happens to be going in the same direction as you. I can’t see his face. That hat pulled down almost hiding his eyes, I don’t like it. Christ he’s walking fast, almost running. Keep calm he just wants to get home out of the rain the same as you. But he’s running straight at you. Fuck the alley’s empty just this weirdo and me. Scream, call for help. But he hasn’t done anything, he’s only running. Shout anyway it will scare him away.

“Help, help someone please help”.

There are no houses around here. No one can hear me. I shouldn’t have gone down this short cut, It saves 5 minutes but its taken me away from the main street. Oh Christ why didn’t I call a cab. Please, please god help me. He’s running now. I can here him calling for me to stop. You must be fucking joking mate I’m not stopping for you! I can’t run in these heels. Off they come. I haven’t been to the gym for ages. God I’m so out of condition I’m wheezing like an old man. My chest’s killing me and I’ve a stitch in my right side. Must rest. Can’t rest he’ll catch you. Must stop for a moment. I can’t. Oh fuck he’s still gaining on me I wish I’d kept going to the gym with the girls. Please, please no he’s almost on top of me. Run, Run Lucy, must get away. I can see the street lights up ahead. Just one more spurt and your back in civilisation.

He’s waving. What the hell does he expect me to do, I’m not stopping! Oh Christ he’s caught up with me. He’s got something in his hand and he’s pointing it at me. God is it a gun? Why me?

“You left this on the bar. God lady you where in a hurry. I thought I’d never catch up with you. This is your mobile isn’t it?”

Literary Dating

I derive great pleasure from reading as you would expect from a writer. However I keep a sense of proportion. I would not for instance dump a partner merely because they failed to share my literary tastes (failing to shower for weeks on end, now that is a different matter, but not liking the same authors as me, no)! That is, however what Fleur Macdonald, the founder of the Omnivore literary magazine, did when she found her boyfriend reading an inferior edition of Virgil. What is  more she founded a dating service for those who feel that one’s tastes in literature trump all else when seeking a prospective partner. Well I am not about to join, however for anyone curious about the service please visit the following link http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/10204049/Literary-website-launches-dating-service.html

Taboo

“The only part of conduct of any one, for which he is amenable to society, is that which concerns others. In the part, which merely concerns himself, his

independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign.” (J S Mill in his essay “On Liberty”).

 

 

I still can’t believe that my 2 oldest friends, John and Fiona are gone, there lives snuffed out in an instant. It made the local news on the BBC. The police are still questioning the lorry driver but it seems that he fell asleep at the wheel and hit my friend’s car. Only yesterday we where enjoying dinner in our favourite restaurant and now they are gone.

“You don’t need to start straight away. Why not leave it a few days before going through John and Fiona’s things darling” my wife said putting her arms around my neck.

“No sweetheart I need to feel that I’m doing something. I can’t just sit here. It will have to be done and I’d rather get it over with”.

I ought to explain that besides being their oldest friend I was appointed as one of John and Fiona’s executors along with Bob Marshal. I haven’t been able to get hold of Bob so I may as well get things moving.

Is this what we are reduced to in death? A myriad personal effects, two wardrobes bulging with clothes and one small filing cabinet which looks as though it was purchased from a catalogue shop. Oh god the bed sheets are all tangled up as though from love making. My old friends I hope your last night was spent in blissful passion. I must get out of the bedroom. I can’t deal with this right now. The living room I’ll start there.

I took that photograph, the one on the mantelpiece. Fiona pushing my daughter, Matilda on the swing while Matilda smiles that smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. John is looking on with a huge grin on his face. To think we’ll never be together again, no more laughter. I haven’t had the heart to call Matilda at university. Its almost exam time and the news will devastate her. She was so fond of Fiona and John, I’ll wait until the examinations are over and tell her then.

How alike John and Fiona seem in that picture. Brown hair, those hazel eyes, even the same delicate little nose. People always commented on their similarity. They must have got sick of all the comments but neither of them ever showed any outward sign of irritation with the nosy parkers who felt that they had the right to interfere in their lives.

“Its just one of life’s little coincidences” John and Fiona would reply smilingly in response to comments about how alike they looked.

Poor Matilda she will be heart broken when I tell her. John and Fiona treated her as though she was their own daughter. Fiona’s face is alight with joy as she pushes Matilda on that swing. I can’t understand why they never had children of their own. John and Fiona would have made wonderful parents, you can see how Matilda adores them, just look at her face in the photograph. I once asked Fiona whether she and John had considered having children.

“I love children Martin but bringing a life into the world is such a massive responsibility”.

“But Fiona there are lots of parents who don’t care about their children. You and John would make much better parents than many of the people who treat their children like possessions. You both have a real feeling for children. Matilda adores you both. She is always asking when she can go and visit uncle John and auntie Fiona”.

“There are genetic reasons Martin. I don’t want to talk about them. I don’t mean to be rude but as my oldest friend I’m sure that you will respect our reasons for not wishing to discuss having children”.

I was a little taken back by Fiona’s somewhat brusque response, however not wishing to sour a friendship which meant so much I agreed never to raise the subject again.

Looking back at our friendship Fiona and John adroitly changed the subject whenever the topic of their families was raised.

“We where both born under gooseberry bushes” they would say laughing uproariously whenever anyone asked about their parents.

“But seriously, Fiona/John I’ve known you both for 15 years but I know nothing about your families. I’ve never met any of your relations”.

“The stalk left us both under the gooseberry bush” they would both answer in unison their bodies convulsing with laughter.

Well looking at photographs won’t achieve anything. Lets take a look in that filing cabinet. Typical sloppy John and Fiona, the key is in the lock. Now what is the point of having a lockable filing cabinet if you leave the key in the lock?!

Not much here. A few bills, two passports and a photograph album. Martin you are here to go through papers not to look through old photos. But a quick flip through won’t take up much time will it? No of course it won’t, I’ll just have a brief look and then get on with sorting through that folder of papers that I found lying under the album.

That lady looks just like John. Hold on she looks like both of them. The same features, the self-same brown hair and hazel eyes. I don’t understand, who is she? Another sibling?

Looking at pictures isn’t getting me anywhere. Lets have a look at whats in this folder. Birth certificates for Fiona and John Hamilton. Christ no wonder they shyed away from discussing their families, they are/where brother and sister.

That’s disgusting, how could they do that. Its not natural, I feel sick to the stomach when I think about it. But Martin they weren’t harming anyone. They where just two adults in a loving relationship who happened to be brother and sister. But if they had brought children into the world the kids would have had a high probability of suffering from serious disabilities, quite possibly severe mental disability. The taboo against incest is there for a very good reason. Incestuous relationships are unnatural, even animal breeders avoid breeding brother with sister because it is neither healthy nor natural to do so. They didn’t have children though. Fiona and John hinted at the reason for not having children but you like a fool where to blind to comprehend. So does the fact that they took a decision not to have children make it all OK then? I don’t know. My gut reaction is one of revulsion, its not normal, they must have been sick to do what they did. But they where good to you and Matilda. They genuinely loved your daughter and Matilda loved them to bits. What will Matilda say when I tell her? I can’t tell her or anyone else, why drag the reputation of a sweet harmless couple through the dirt when they are dead? But they weren’t sweet and harmless, John and Fiona broke not only the law of the land, they breeched that most ancient of taboos, the prohibition against sleeping with your closest relatives. Would you have reported them if you had discovered their secret while John and Fiona where still both living? Yes. No. I don’t know. They where my dear, dear friends. John and Fiona never hurt anyone. What they did turns my stomach but they did no harm to anyone. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Ah that’s what I’m looking for, the electric shredder. In go the photographs and the birth certificates. That’s it all over now.

 

The end

What If?

The scents of a summer garden carried on a gentle breeze. I stand at the open window intoxicated desiring life and you.

You the unattainable, reclining carelessly, your soft brown skin an instrument of torture. To look but not to touch, perpetually suspended in the state of friendship. What if I should express what lies within? What then?The death of friendship, the crushing of my dreams or, just possibly something else. Perhaps it is Better to live in suspended animation the words forever just on the tip of my tongue. Where I to speak my words like bombs would explode shattering forever this world of dreams.

The Fascist In Your Bed

Imagine that you are in the dating game and that the man or woman of your dreams appears on the sceene. This is, I understand what happened in the case of a certain young lady who was in search of her knight in shining armour. Well not quite, for the man in question turned out to hold views which would have had him expelled from any centre-right (conservative) party. He was, in short a Fascist who openly avowed his admiration for Adolf Hitler. Needless to say that when the lady in question discovered the true colours of her date she removed herself so rapidly out of his clutches that one could not see her for dust.

The lady in question is not known to me. I am, however acquainted with a friend of hers and can vouch for the authenticity of the incident.

It occurred to me that the above incident would make for an interesting story without (obviously) naming the people involved or providing any clue to their identity. I hope to write a (fictional) story along these lines over the coming weeks.