When a man whose name is Grub
Recited his poems in my local pub,
And he fell drunk on the floor
I called out for more,
Although his verse I never understood!
When A Man Whose Name is Grub
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Tag Archives: nonsense
There Was A Young Man Named Frank
There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I am washing my hair
And there is deep water down there!
So I’d rather not walk the plank!”.
—
There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I shall obey your command,
But we are on dry land,
So what is the point of the plank?”
I Know A Young Barmaid Named Page
I know a young barmaid named Page
With whom I try to engage.
But when I ask her to dance
She says, “you have no chance,
As your bar bill you haven’t paid!”.
—
I know a young actress named Page
With whom I tried to engage.
But when I asked her to dance
She said, “you have no chance,
Then she threw me off the stage!”.
There Was A Young Lady Named Lizzie
There was a young lady named Lizzie
Who was always so terribly busy.
Well that’s what she said,
But she was often in bed,
That mendacious young lady named Lizzie!
A Young Lady Who Is Extremely Sinful
A young lady who is extremely sinful,
Having imbibed more than a skinfull,
Invited me back to her pad
But, being a very good lad
I declined that young lady most sinfull!
Sea, Sand and . . .
Sea, sand and . . .
Sun kissed skin
Does not
Lead to sin
For the weather is too hot
For that,
And I quite forgot
My shoe
In the flat
Of a girl named Lou.
But enough of that
For there is sea and
Sand and …
When A Young Man Named Keith
When a young man named Keith
Said, “love, ’tis often brief”,
His girlfriend Lou
Said, “that’s true,
You have already finished Keith!”.
There Once Was A Writer Named Moon
There once was a writer named Moon,
(Or was that his nom de plume)?
At any rate
My friend Kate,
Has told me her nom de plume!
When I Asked My Good Friend Miss Wood
When I asked my good friend Miss Wood,
“Do you think you could . . .?”,
She said, with a smile,
“You have wit and style,
But I really don’t think I should . . .”.
Tuesday Morning Humour
There once was a poet named Kim
Who was both petite and slim.
Her verse it was mediocre
But a critic called Coker,
Loved that young lady Kim!
—
When a pretty young lady named Mable
Said, “I am both willing and able”.
I gave her a smile
And said, “wait a while,
First we must lay this table”.
—
There once was a horologist named Sue
Who said, “any clock will do”.
So she bought an ancient timepiece
From a disreputable old thief,
But that clock it just wouldn’t do!
K Morris - Poet 