When I met the poet Milton
In the supermarket shopping for Stilton,
And I spoke of “Paradise Lost”,
He said, “have you seen the cost
Of all these cheeses, especially this Stilton!”
When I Met the Poet Milton
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
Pink Socks
When a young lady wearing pink socks
Walked into a shop full of clocks,
The shop owner named Lyme
Said, “it is high time
That you wore something with those socks!”.
The Joys of Cheese
When an elderly gentleman named Mr Foster
Choked on some cheese whilst in Gloucester.
A doctor called Louise
Said, “he liked cheese!
And he died whilst eating Double Gloucester!”
Wet Mops
When young ladies waving very wet mops
Jumped and danced on the table tops,
All the old gentlemen cheered.
While I shaved my beard.
And the waiters they called the cops!
Only 9
When a young lady who is 9
Said, “all boys are far from divine!”,
And with her water pistol
Blasted them all to Bristol!
They forgave her as she’s only 9!
Draughts or Chess
I know an extremely pretty young barmaid
And many a game we have played.
When I say to her, “Bess,
Shall we play draughts or chess?”,
She winks at me does that barmaid …!
Heaven
When a beautiful young lady said, “Kevin,
At seven I’ll send you to heaven!”.
I said to her, “darling Heather,
I look forward to the pleasure!”,
Then she produced a pistol at seven!
Out Shooting Grouse
When I met a gentleman out shooting grouse
Who said, “sir, have you seen my spouse?”.
And I said, “I’ve seen Moriah
In a haystack with the squire!”,
He said, “I’ll shoot more than those grouse!”
My Mother in Law
When a plucky young man known as Moore
Went and insulted my mother in law,
And my wife Mrs White
Said, “challenge him to a fight!”,
I said, “but she is a terrible bore!”
When an Extremely Pushy Young Lady of Malaysia
When an extremely pushy young lady of Malaysia
Demanded that we all go and praise her,
A man from Liverpool
Called her a fool,
And got praised by the people of Malaysia!
K Morris - Poet 