Tag Archives: humour

When a Snobby Young Lady

When a snobby young lady known as Lou

Went and stood in some very strong glue,

And she said to us all,

“I am stuck to this wall!”.

We said, “you’ve always been stuck up Lou!”

Cook’s New Poetry Book

When a poet whose name was Cook

Went and published a new poetry book,

And a young man called Frank

Said, “the pages are all blank!”.

“That’s because it’s blank verse!”, said Cook.

The Monk and the Skunk

When I met an extremely drunk old monk

Who went an threatened me with his skunk,

And I said to Hocking,

“His behaviour is really shocking!”.

She said, “whose? The monk or the skunk!”

I Once Met a Very Bad Lad

I once met a very bad lad

Who said, “your poetry makes me sad!”.

I said to him “Moore!

You are a terrible bore!”,

As I soundly beat that bad lad!

 

Me, the Squire and Moriah

As I sat by a blazing fire

With the squire and his housemaid Moriah,

I said to her, “Rose!

You are wearing no clothes!”.

She said, “yes! But my name’s Moriah!”

The Rude Ghoul

I once met a very rude ghoul

Who insisted on calling me a fool.

I said, “if you persist

I shall call an exorcist

And then we’ll see whose the fool!”

I Met a Young Man Named Lear

I met a young man named Lear

Who dragged me around by my ear.

I gave him a clout

Then, with a great shout

I fed him to hungry Miss Rear!

My Very Great Passion

I have developed a very great passion

For a young lady who loves fashion.

Her name is Miss Lou

And she wears 1 shoe.

Which she says is the latest fashion!

Miss Mar and the Vicar’s Spouse

I met a young lady known as Miss Mar

Who was speeding along in her brand new car.

She said, “I’ve left the vicar’s house

As I’m being chased by his spouse!”.

I said, “ah! That’s where you left your bra!”

Yvette’s Pet

I met a young lady named Yvette

Who asked me to be her pet.

She said, “join Varnish,

Whose wearing a harness”.

I said, “Yvette! We’ve only just met!”