When a young lady named Janet
Said, “government should immediately ban it!”.
I said, I know what you mean.
It really is a little obscene.
But wont you just try it, Janet?”.
Janet
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Tag Archives: humour
When I Found a Young Lady Bathing
When I found a young lady bathing
Who said, “sir, I am but faffing”.
And I said “leave my bathtub!”.
She said, “give me a rub”.
And my wife was far from laughing!
When a Young Lady of Great Beauty
When a young lady of great beauty
Said, “sir, it is your bounden duty
To pay my expenses.
There will be recompenses”.
I said, “beauty it rhymes with duty!”.
As I Ascended the Winding Stair
As I ascended the winding stair
I met with my mistress Claire.
Who said, with a frown,
“Your old wife,Mrs Brown,
Just gave me a terrible glare!”.
Passion Killer
Couples in the USA are being advised to wear masks to protect against the transmission of COVID-19 if they have sex. The lunatics are, I think finally taking over the asylum, (see https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8384891/Couples-arent-quarantining-avoid-kissing-wear-FACE-MASKS-says-study.html).
The above advice sparked the below poem:
How to kill passion.
First, fashion
A mask.
This is a simple task
For some.
A few
May have fun
Its true,
By which I mean
Those who are into the fetish scene!
Doctors say, that, “if you absolutely must
Indulge your lust,
Then wear a mask, for ’twill protect you,
From your lover true”.
It must be said
That romance is dead.
Forget the condom.
Its a mask you should have on!.
A Poet’s Broken Heart
There once was a poet named Gus
Who said, “we have much to discuss
Of literature and art,
And my broken heart”.
But his lover said, “Gus, don’t fuss!”.
Resistance to Social Distance
When ants in a young lady’s kitchen
Showed a complete disregard for social distance,
A lover who was visiting her there
Said, “my dearest darling Claire,
I confess that I’m itching
To report those ants in your kitchen
For demonstrating resistance
To social distance!”.
Vampire Humour
Some vampire humour
Alice
There was a young lady named Alice
Who lived in the great Crystal Palace.
She was a naughty little minx
And into all kinds of kinks.
But Alice, she had absolutely no malice!
When An Extremely Fat Old Whig
When an extremely fat old Whig
Called a young Tory squire a prig,
His opponent gave a big smile
And said, “sir, wait a while
And I will feed you another fig!”.
K Morris - Poet 