When a single young lady in red
Made love in the bishop’s new bed,
And the bed it collapsed
She said, “we have lapsed!
And we’ve landed on the vicar’s head!”
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
The Bishop’s Lapse
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
There Once was a Man from Norwich
There once was a man from Norwich
Who was extremely fond of his porridge.
When they fed him Weetabix
He hit them with sticks
So they kicked him out of Norwich!
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
The Hungry Vampire
There once was a vampire named Lake
Who entered a restaurant to eat steak.
A waitress called Moriah
Said, “you’re a vampire!”,
Are you sure you want that stake!”
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
When a Strange Young Lady Named Gwen
When a strange young lady named Gwen
Went and woke me at around 10,
And I said, “are you a nurse?
She said, “no! its far, far worse!”.
Then she showed her fangs did Gwen …!
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
Always Write What you Know
When a young lady named Miss Flow
Said, “you must always write what you know”,
I wrote about her
And our sordid affair –
Now I’m corresponding with her lawyer called Joe …!
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
I am bored.
I am bored, but alive
And appear to thrive.
The hospital food is good,
But too much pud
Will make me very fat,
So I avoid that!
..
I don’t miss my beer
As much as I thought I would,
But I wish I could
Make the day less drear with beer!
..
I hear the seagulls cry
And I would fly
Away if I could
But I am stuck here
In this place drear.
Yet I am still alive
And appear to thrive!
..
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
Juliette the Vet
There was a young lady named Juliette
Who got a job as a vet.
A crocodile called Nile
Gave her a smile
As he ate that vet named Juliette.
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris.
Just Heels
I know a young lady in heels
Who loves to swim with the seals.
Her name it is Rose
And she wears no clothes –
But she does keep on her heels!
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris
Maddy’s Rich Sugar Daddy
A beautiful young lady named Maddy
Is seeking a rich Sugar Daddy.
But I, being poor
Am dating Miss Moore,
Who is less attractive than Maddy!
.
Copyright: Kevin Morris
I Know a Young Lady of Kampala
I know a young lady of Kampala
Who works in a massage parlour.
Her name it is Sky
And she’s so incredibly shy
And she works in a massage parlour …
K Morris - Poet 