Tag Archives: funny poetry

The Hungry Vampire

There once was a vampire named Lake

Who entered a restaurant to eat steak.

A waitress called Moriah

Said, “you’re a vampire!”,

Are you sure you want that stake!”
.

Copyright: Kevin Morris.

When a Strange Young Lady Named Gwen

When a strange young lady named Gwen

Went and woke me at around 10,

And I said, “are you a nurse?

She said, “no! its far, far worse!”.

Then she showed her fangs did Gwen …!
.

Copyright: Kevin Morris.

Always Write What you Know

When a young lady named Miss Flow

Said, “you must always write what you know”,

I wrote about her

And our sordid affair –

Now I’m corresponding with her lawyer called Joe …!
.

Copyright: Kevin Morris.

I am bored.

I am bored, but alive

And appear to thrive.

The hospital food is good,

But too much pud

Will make me very fat,

So I avoid that!

..

I don’t miss my beer

As much as I thought I would,

But I wish I could

Make the day less drear with beer!

..

I hear the seagulls cry

And I would fly

Away if I could

But I am stuck here

In this place drear.

Yet I am still alive

And appear to thrive!

..

Copyright: Kevin Morris.

Maddy’s Rich Sugar Daddy

A beautiful young lady named Maddy

Is seeking a rich Sugar Daddy.

But I, being poor

Am dating Miss Moore,

Who is less attractive than Maddy!

.

Copyright: Kevin Morris

I Know a Young Lady of Kampala

I know a young lady of Kampala

Who works in a massage parlour.

Her name it is Sky

And she’s so incredibly shy

And she works in a massage parlour …

Miss Plumb

I know a young lady named Miss Plumb

Who likes to spank blokes on their bum.

You ask, “is it nice?”.

I say, “its my vice!

And its strictly between me and Miss Plumb!”

Have you Heard of a Certain Bar?

Have you heard of a certain bar

Where the girls they go too far?

A young lady named Hocking

Wears naught but a stocking.

But now lets return to that bar …