When a young lady named Jacinta
Went and trod on a splinter,
She hopped all around
And said something profound.
And then she cursed that splinter!
Jacinta’s Splinter
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Tag Archives: funny poems
The Man Who Liked to Eat Chalk
A man who liked to eat chalk
Said that it helped him to talk.
One day, feeling bored,
He swallowed a blackboard.
Which worked very well with that chalk!
Miss Fox and the Telephone Box
There once was a young lady called Miss Fox
Who placed lots of ads in a phone box.
An elderly vicar named Glyn
Spoke of wickedness and sin
As he called Miss Fox from that telephone box …!
Too Much Latin
There once was a great lover of Latin
Who had a job as a professional assassin.
Whilst reading great Virgil
He became very ill.
That’s what comes of reading too much Latin!
Gorgeous Miss Unity
The gorgeous and very talented Miss Unity
Is well known in the poetry community.
She reads her verse nude,
Which many find quite rude!
And then I go home with Unity …!
Midnight Poetry
As I sat reciting poetry at midnight
I spied a young lady dressed in white.
When I said, “are you a ghost!”,
She said, “no! I’m your host!
And your poetry woke me up at midnight!”
Pistols in Bristol
There once was a man from Bristol
Who was famous for his antique pistol.
When he gave a great cough
That old gun it went off!
There once was a man from Bristol …!
The French Dancer
I know a young lady from France
Who likes to dance on a high branch.
When she’s in the mood
I’ve seen her dance nude –
But not on a very high branch!
A Critic Named Green
I once read a critic named Green
Who was famous on the poetry scene.
He wrote my verse
It grows steadily worse.
Now he’s vanished from the poetry scene …
When I Dated a Young Lady in Waiting
When I dated a young lady in waiting
Who said, “sir, are you fond of mating?”.
I said, “my dear Yvette!
We have only just met!”.
She said, “never keep a young lady waiting …!”
K Morris - Poet 