When a young lady standing on a ledge
Said, “sir, would you like some veg?”,
An elderly gentleman by the name of Bean
Said something which was really quite obscene,
So I threw him in a hedge!
A young lady living in a box
One day lost all of her socks.
She had to search high and low,
Which is strange, as I happen to know,
That she lives in a very small box!
When a young lady named Mable
Said, “I am willing and able”,
I said, “come here my dear
And meet beautiful, young miss Ria.
Together you can assemble this table!”.
My lover who is petite and blonde
Has a very deep garden pond.
When she found me with Yvette,
(who is a gorgeous, slim brunnette,
I became acquainted with her pond!
Cleaners find
Traces left behind.
Their bachelor boss so staid
With a pretty maid,
They see in their mind’s eye
As fresh sheets are laid
On the stolid old bed.
When cleaners dust
And discover a girl’s misplaced jewel
Perchance they may
Ponder on lust
And think their master a fool.
But, being paid to clean
They leave the ring,
Or some such thing
As though unseen,
In the same place.
While their imagination runs wild …
A young lady named Jane
Wields a mean old cane,
Whilst her friend miss Kipper
Prefers the use of a slipper.
And Shane he’s sweet on Jane!
When a young lady named Jane
Said, “your verse is far to mundane!”.
And I wrote a poem about her
And my mistress who’s called Claire,
I got warned by Jane’s lawyer Lorraine!
When a loose young lady named Bell
Said, “many men have here fell”.
And I said, “on yonder path?”,
She said, “are you having a laugh?”.
And then, dear reader, I fell!
An elderly gent living in a tent
Said, “I have all my money spent
On good living and young women
And now my hair is thinning.
Sir, could you pay my rent?”.
When a young lady of a philosophical bent
Invited me into her leaky old tent,
And she said, “men are full of lust,
And we are all but whirling dust”.
I said, “you should fix this leaking tent!”.
K Morris - Poet 