When a young lady by the name of miss Heart
Said, “I really don’t like your poetry, which you call art!”.
It is so very old hat,
And young women don’t like that!”.
I said, “the world’s going to hell in a handcart!”.
My Art
Leave a reply
Tag Archives: nonsense verse
There Was A Young Lady of Berlin
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who was extremely tall and thin.
Whilst running for a train
She fell down a drain,
And dropped her bottle of gin!
—
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who was extremely tall and thin.
Whilst running for an express train
She got stuck in a drain,
Which made a wicked man grin!
—
When a young boy from the Netherlands
Said, “why do young women in the windows stand?”.
And why does that winking red light
Never cease to shine, both day and night?”,
His father said, “this is Holland, young Bland”.
Thursday Humour
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who commited a most wicked sin.
It concerned a young man of Vienna
And the theft of a tenner.
And it caused the Devil to grin.
—
There was a young man called Mark
Who met a lady in the dark.
I could say she was pretty
And that her conversation was witty.
But I wasn’t there with Mark!
My Communist Friend
My friend whose name is Grist
Is a deep red Communist.
He made all of his money
Through trading in sweet honey,
And Honey is now suing Grist!
Social Darwinism
I once had a friend called Grist
Who was a most fervent Social Darwinist.
Whilst out on the stormy sea
It was either him or me.
Oh, how I miss that Social Darwinist!
Lou and Bess
When a young lady whose name is Lou
Said, “I’m feeling really quite blue”,
And her dearest friend miss Bess
Said, “lets take off our dress”.
I thought, what should a shy man do …
Lou Who Lost Her Stockings
There was a young lady called Lou
Who wrote a limerick most blue.
It concerned the loss of her stockings,
And was so very shocking,
That I won’t repeat it to you!
National Limerick Day
A friend emailed me this morning, with a reminder that it is National Limerick Day, (https://nationaltoday.com/national-limerick-day/). So, in honour of this event I have composed the below limerick:
There was a young lady named Gale
Whose activities made her mother turn pale.
She went out to sea
With a vicar called Lee,
And used her dress as a sail!
Tuesday Humour – Vanity
When a gentleman said, “I maintain
That you sir, are extremely vain!”,
I said, “that I deny.
I’m a very modest guy,
Who can’t help his superior brain!”.
When A Young Lady Riding A Bike
When a young lady riding a bike
Said, “I have something you will like”.
I said, “in my sports car
You and I can go far,
But not so far on that bike”.
K Morris - Poet 