There was a young lady of Berlin
Who commited a most wicked sin.
It concerned a young man of Vienna
And the theft of a tenner.
And it caused the Devil to grin.
—
There was a young man called Mark
Who met a lady in the dark.
I could say she was pretty
And that her conversation was witty.
But I wasn’t there with Mark!
My friend whose name is Grist
Is a deep red Communist.
He made all of his money
Through trading in sweet honey,
And Honey is now suing Grist!
I once had a friend called Grist
Who was a most fervent Social Darwinist.
Whilst out on the stormy sea
It was either him or me.
Oh, how I miss that Social Darwinist!
When a young lady whose name is Lou
Said, “I’m feeling really quite blue”,
And her dearest friend miss Bess
Said, “lets take off our dress”.
I thought, what should a shy man do …
There was a young lady called Lou
Who wrote a limerick most blue.
It concerned the loss of her stockings,
And was so very shocking,
That I won’t repeat it to you!
A friend emailed me this morning, with a reminder that it is National Limerick Day, (https://nationaltoday.com/national-limerick-day/). So, in honour of this event I have composed the below limerick:
There was a young lady named Gale
Whose activities made her mother turn pale.
She went out to sea
With a vicar called Lee,
And used her dress as a sail!
When a gentleman said, “I maintain
That you sir, are extremely vain!”,
I said, “that I deny.
I’m a very modest guy,
Who can’t help his superior brain!”.
When a young lady riding a bike
Said, “I have something you will like”.
I said, “in my sports car
You and I can go far,
But not so far on that bike”.
When a young lady standing on a ledge
Said, “sir, would you like some veg?”,
An elderly gentleman by the name of Bean
Said something which was really quite obscene,
So I threw him in a hedge!
A young lady living in a box
One day lost all of her socks.
She had to search high and low,
Which is strange, as I happen to know,
That she lives in a very small box!
K Morris - Poet 