There was a young man of Doncaster
Who decided his wall to plaster.
He drank lots of beer
Which made him feel queer
And led to a plaster disaster!
—
When a naughty young lady called Bess
Stole a little black dress
A store detective named Guy
Said, with a sigh
“You’ll look great in that little black dress …!”.
—
A pretty young lady called Nell
Rang upon my bell.
I was elsewhere at the time
Composing an intricate rhyme
As I did her large boyfriend tell …
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who’s morals were truly shocking.
When she dated a man named Ed
And my brother called Fred,
Their wives they came aknocking!
I know a young lady called May
Who told me a limerick risqué.
I experienced delight
Throughout the night
But she won’t repeat it today
I know a young lady called Kim
Who asked that I the lights dim.
So I turned them down low
And turned round real slow,,
But Kim had run away with Jim!
I met a young lady called Kim
Who asked that I the lights dim.
So I turned them down low
And turned round real slow.
And Kim was petite and slim …
I know a young lady called Heather
Who likes to dress in leather.
Her good friend Rose
Does poetry compose
About girls who dress in leather …
There was a young lady called Heather
Who wore one single feather.
My good friend Rose
Goes without clothes
In every kind of weather …
There is a young lady called Irene
Who I have never seen.
She has a son named Mike
Who looks very like
Me, and that young lady I’ve never seen …
I know a young lady named Moore
Who all the men adore.
She works in a club
Called the Back Rub
And the police they bang on the door …
I know a young lady of Cadiz
Who went by the name of Liz.
The police are in search of her
So now she’s known as Claire,
That versatile young lady of Cadiz!
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “it looks like rain
In that city known as Madrid.
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “you will injure your brain.
You foolish young lady of Madrid!
There was a young man called Clive
Who sat on a beehive.
With a pearcing scream
He awoke from his dream,
That fortunate young man called Clive!
There was a young lady called Kate
Who married my very best mate.
When a girl named Lou
Wed him too
The judge had my mate on a plate!
K Morris - Poet 