I am in need of a trip to the barber’s, (I fully intend to pay a visit this weekend)! The length of my hair caused an acquaintance to remark that I had a “Byronic” look. Does that mean that I am, as Lady Caroline Lamb remarked of Lord Byron, “mad, bad and dangerous to know” I wonder?!
There was a young lady called Rose
Who decided a poem to compose.
She wrote a verse most fine,
While drunk on cheap wine
And tattooed it right on her nose …!
There was a young man called Pailing
Who owned a goat named Grayling.
One day the animal got out,
And his neighbour did shout,
“Pailing! Grayling has just eaten my railing …!”
There was a young man called Neil
Who dated a girl in high heel.
When she stood on a wall,
She was 12 feet tall,
It made his senses reel!
—
There was a young man called Neil
Who dated a girl named Lucille.
When she stood on a wall,
She was 12 feet tall,
It made his senses reel!
There was a young man called Pailing
Who went out with his dog sailing.
They got lost in the ocean,
And there was quite a commotion,
You should have heard their weeping and wailing!
—
There was a young man called Pailing
Who bought a brand new railing.
But the darned thing broke,
And he remarked, “what a joke,
And the light it is certainly failing!”
There was a young lady called Anna
Who waved a rather rude banner.
When people did complain
She said, with disdain
“This is just my normal manner”!
There was a young lady called Nell
Who lived in a wishing well.
It was dark and cold
And I am told
That she had nowhere else to dwell!
There was a young vampire called Dracula
Who’s knowledge of languages was spectacular.
In general, vampires communicate very well,
Although I have heard tell
That they sometimes employ the vernacular!
There was a young lady called Mariah
Who had a burning desire
To visit the sun,
So there she did run
And was consumed by a raging fire!
There was a young lady called Pam
Who liked to generate lots of spam.
When the cyber cops came to take her away
She said, “I rue this day
And in future will stick to ham …!”
