There once was a man named Lyme
Who said, “I shall rewind time”.
So he turned the clock’s hands back,
Which caused them to go crack.
But he was unable to conquer time.
Rewinding Time
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Tag Archives: humour
At a Time of Social Distancing
Sunscreen on skin
Is no sin.
The birds sing
For it is spring.
One may go outside
But woe betide
The man who offers resistance
To the concept of social distance.
They say that couples are okay
To enjoy the weather together.
But how do you
Distinguish lovers true
From those simply out for fun
In this beautiful spring sun?
One may stroll, alone.
The phone,
And the internet
Are fine. As is wine
(but no alcohol or grub
Down the local pub)!
You may walk your pet
And hear the birds sing
(for it is spring),
And it is not yet
A crime, to indulge in rhyme.
When A Young Man Named Sam
When a young man named Sam
Said, “have you seen my wife Pam?”.
I said, “she is under the table
With an elderly gentleman called Able.
And they offered me some ham!
When I Saw A Girl In A Tank
When I saw a girl in a tank
And said, to the shop owner named Frank,
“Is that beautiful young woman a mermaid?”,
He said, “she is far from staid!”.
So I purchased that tank from Frank!
A Young Lady Dressed As A Ghost
A young lady dressed as a ghost
Haunts gentleman’s kitchens, whilst looking for toast.
She likes it quite hot
With a big cream pot.
But let us return to the toast!
A Young Lady Whose Morals Are Lose
A young lady whose morals are loose
Rode through the streets on a goose.
When I called her immoral,
It led to a quarrel,
So I roasted that young lady’s goose!
When A Ghost Whose Name Is Dave
When a ghost whose name is Dave
Arose from a most ancient grave
And said, “you should be very scared!”,
I said, “have you not heard
Dave, that I am very brave!”.
When An Elderly Gentleman Named Pat
When an elderly gentleman named Pat
Said, “would you like to play snap?”,
I jumped on his fine old table,
With a young lady called Mable.
And the table leg went snap!
There Once Was A God Named Zeus
There once was a god named Zeus
Who decided a nymph to seduce.
He plied her with fine wine
And on spaghetti rings they did dine.
And he bought her a chocolate mousse!
An Elderly Poet Named Coker
An elderly poet named Coker
Wields a mean old poker.
When I said, “your verse is bad!”,
He called me a “rude young lad!”.
It’s painful being chastised with a poker!
K Morris - Poet 