When a middle-aged lady named Ann
Said, “have you seen my man?”.
I said, “he went off with Bess.
A blonde in a little black dress.
And why are you waving that pan!
When a Middle-Aged Lady Named Ann
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Tag Archives: humour
Street Cat
The below is dedicated to my friend’s cat:
There once was a wiley street cat
Who liked to do this and that.
When she went out on the town
All her sorrows to drown,
It ended in a scrap!
—
There once was a wiley street cat
Who liked to do this and that.
She went out on the town
All her sorrows to drown,
With a rat whose name was Matt!
Christine Who I’ve Never Seen
There is a young lady named Christine
Who I swear that I’ve never seen.
Her husband Lee
Is looking for me.
But I’ve never seen blonde Christine!
When A Rather Vicious Looking Bunny
When a rather vicious looking bunny
Said, “give me all your money!”.
And I said, “are you a highwayman?”,
He said, “no, my name is Dan,
But my friends all call me Honey!”.
Girls Online
There was a young lady truly divine
Who spent much of her time online.
When on the internet
Her name was Yvette.
But she was Ted when not online …
Lou Who Was Not Political
There was a young lady named Lou
Who said, “I never will politics do.
My nextdoor neighbour
Always votes Labour.
But I’m a Conservative through and through!”.
There Was A Young Lady Named Maude
There was a young lady named Maude
Who, feeling extremely bored
Said, to miss Bess,
Let us both undress”.
And the general unsheathed his great sword.
My Art
When a young lady by the name of miss Heart
Said, “I really don’t like your poetry, which you call art!”.
It is so very old hat,
And young women don’t like that!”.
I said, “the world’s going to hell in a handcart!”.
There Was A Young Lady of Berlin
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who was extremely tall and thin.
Whilst running for a train
She fell down a drain,
And dropped her bottle of gin!
—
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who was extremely tall and thin.
Whilst running for an express train
She got stuck in a drain,
Which made a wicked man grin!
—
When a young boy from the Netherlands
Said, “why do young women in the windows stand?”.
And why does that winking red light
Never cease to shine, both day and night?”,
His father said, “this is Holland, young Bland”.
Thursday Humour
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who commited a most wicked sin.
It concerned a young man of Vienna
And the theft of a tenner.
And it caused the Devil to grin.
—
There was a young man called Mark
Who met a lady in the dark.
I could say she was pretty
And that her conversation was witty.
But I wasn’t there with Mark!
K Morris - Poet 