There was a young poet called Kim
Who dated a fireman named Jim.
On discovering that he didn’t like verse
Matters went from bad to worse
So she dumped that fireman named Jim!
There was a young poet called Kim
Who dated a fireman named Jim.
The vicar looked black
And said “alas, alack
I fear that Kim is wasted on Jim!”.
When a lazy young author called Gwen
Sat on a very sharp pen,
She said, with a squeal
“I really do feel
That I ought to start writing again!”.
I know a young lady called Bess
Who wears a little black dress.
She is extremely pretty
And always witty
But her hair’s such a terrible mess!
I know a young lady called Bess
Who stole a little black dress.
A policeman named More
Said “stop in the name of the law!
My love for you I must confess!”.
I know a young dominatrix named Maria
Who comes from a placed called Korea.
I don’t like the handcuff
Or other such stuff
But I’m very fond of Maria …
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
When the panther came back
He claimed to lack
Any knowledge of what happened to Samantha …
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
She rode away on his back
But alas, alack
Samantha now resides in my panther …
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
The creature gave a growl
Which caused her to scowl
And return my favourite pet panther …
There was a young lady called Caroline
Who men thought rather fine.
When out on a first date
She would always clear her plate
But she never crossed that line …
There was a young lady called Caroline
Who men thought rather fine.
She had a sister named Lou
(Who looks rather like you),
But Lou never crossed that line …
There was a young lady called Leigh
Who one day went to sea
In a fine old ship
With a dog named Chip
And a captain known as me!
There was a young lady called Leigh
Who one day went to sea
In a fine old ship
With a dog named Chip
And Chip’s friend Mr Flea
Just who
Should I return that high-heel
Shoe
To?
I feel
That it ought to be
Leigh
Or perhaps Sue.
Oh to
Who
Should I return that shoe?
Lou
Swears
That it isn’t her’s.
Then she swears some more!
Oh how I do a mystery adore!
Just who
Should I return that shoe
To?
Do tell me. Please do.
There was a young lady called Bland
Who asked for a one-night stand.
I said “that is all right.
You can stand there all night,
But she didn’t understand …!
There was a young lady called Lou
Who caused quite a to-do
When she found me in her bedroom
Bathed in expensive perfume
And trying on her shoe …
K Morris - Poet 