A young lady by the name of Hocking
Was always my poetry mocking.
When she passed away
I’m sorry to say
That her end was truly shocking …
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who lost a fine silk stocking.
A vicar named Hogg
Owned a large black dog
Which ate that fine silk stocking …
I know a young lady of Cadiz
Who’s name was Louise or Liz.
When the police went looking for her
She changed into Claire
And we’re sat here drinking fizz …
I know a young lady called Kim
Who asked that I the lights dim.
So I turned them down low
And turned round real slow,,
But Kim had run away with Jim!
I met a young lady called Kim
Who asked that I the lights dim.
So I turned them down low
And turned round real slow.
And Kim was petite and slim …
I know a young lady called Heather
Who likes to dress in leather.
Her good friend Rose
Does poetry compose
About girls who dress in leather …
There was a young lady called Heather
Who wore one single feather.
My good friend Rose
Goes without clothes
In every kind of weather …
Each night
I turn out the light
To sleep.
But in does creep
Miss White,
Every blooming night!
There was a young lady called Anna
Who lived in a haunted manor.
A ghost named White
Sang at night
In a most delightful manner …!
There was a young lady called Anna
Who lived in a haunted manor.
A ghost named Ria
Filled her with fear
So she left that haunted manor!
I know a young lady of Cadiz
Who went by the name of Liz.
The police are in search of her
So now she’s known as Claire,
That versatile young lady of Cadiz!
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “it looks like rain
In that city known as Madrid.
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “you will injure your brain.
You foolish young lady of Madrid!
There was a young man called Clive
Who sat on a beehive.
With a pearcing scream
He awoke from his dream,
That fortunate young man called Clive!
There was a young lady called Claire
Who met me on the stair.
Her sister Lou
Saw us two
And gave a knowing stare …
—
There was a young lady called Clare
Who met me on the stair.
My mistress Lou
Was feeling blue
So joined us on the stair …
K Morris - Poet 