Tag Archives: humorous verse

There Was A Young Man Named Glass

There was a young man named Glass
Who appeared on a rather remarkable podcast.
There being absolutely no sound
It was very profound,
And the critics all raved about Glass!

As I Walked Through The Graveyard Last Night

As I walked through the graveyard last night
I met a young woman in white.
As she arose from her grave
With a ghoul called Dave
I said, “do you fancy a drink tonight?”

As I walked through the graveyard last night
I saw a young woman in white.
As she arose from her grave
I said, “my soul I must save!”,
Then I ran like the clappers last night!

A Poet Named Mark

There once was a poet named Mark
Whose verse was extremely dark,
So they sent him to sea
On a rotten old tree,
Where he was eaten by a shark!

I know a young man named Mark
Whose verse is extremely dark.
He sails the great sea
On a rotten old tree,
And plays upon his harp!

How Convenient To Have A Graveyard So Close To My Home

How convenient to have a graveyard
So close to my home.
‘Twill not be hard
As, when I die
There will not be far to go
For my bones
But, you know
The place has remained undisturbed
By burials for many a year.
I am perturbed
And shed a tear
As I do not know
Where I shall go
When I die.

Perhaps my ashes will, in a pub find a place
And the drinker, with his or her flushed face
Will look at me and say,
“He used to drink this way.
Another beer
Here barman, for I feel suddenly queer
And must drink
Else I shall think
On dust
And he, who has into the grave been thrust!”.

I dislike
The idea of fire
And my desire
Is for burial. Yet the night
Will come down all the same
So why should I care
Whether I am consumed by flame
Or end up underground?
For the truth profound
Is that I will not be there
To know or care.

They Say That 2 Is Company

They say
That 2 is company
While 3
Is a crowd.
A few are loud
And will with honesty proclaim
(Without fear of shame)
That they
Like 3.
But I beg thee
Do not ask me
To explain
For I may
Lie, or simply not say . . .

A Young Man Whose Name is Grub

A young man whose name is Grub
Has invited me along to his club,
Which is full of beautiful women,
Who are in to hot sinning,
Well, that’s what I’m told by Grub . . .

A young man whose name is Grub
Has invited me along to his club,
Which is full of beautiful women,
Who are in to hot sinning,
But I’d rather go down the pub!

Saturday Morning Humour

I know a young lady named Pam.
We met on Instagram.
She lives in my city
And is often witty,
And her dress ’tis made of ham!

My friend whose name is Hogg
Owns a very large dog.
When I hear a bark
In the depths of the dark
I throw my clog at Hogg!.

I met a young lady named White
With whom I spent the night.
‘Twas on an express train
From London to Dunblane.
And she drives that train each night!.

When A Young Lady Whose Name Is Brock

When a young lady whose name is Brock
Wore a very short frock,
A vicar named Mike
Fell off his bike,
Which gave that poor young lady a shock!

When a young lady whose name is Brock
Wore a very short frock,
A vicar called Mike
Fell off his bike
At the shock of that very short frock