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Kevin
When a pretty but strict young nurse
Said, “your verse it grows steadily worse!”,
I said, “please, help it grow better”,
So she gave me a medical letter,
Which was written all in free verse!
When a strange young lady named White
Climbed into my bed late last night,
And I said a most friendly “hello!”,
She said, “I think you should know,
That my reputation is whiter than white!”.
A stranger is a friend
You have not yet met.
You can pretend
That the girl in heels
And the short, tight
Dress,
You ordered tonight
Feels
Delight
When you caress
Her where
A lover’s hand
Should command
True pleasure.
But, at your leisure,
(And if wise), you will see
The reality
That the company
Of an escort
Can be easily bought,
But love? no,
‘Tis not so.
When A naughty young lady named Linda
Said, “I shall find a date using Cinder,
They said, “do you mean the Tinder app?”,
She replied, “I need that kind of chap,
Who is handsome and hot as a cinder!”.
Is a goddess
Seen before
A goddess
No more
When, on seeing her for a second time
You find
That your rhyme
Did capture
A rapture
That is no more,
Though the rhyme
Is as before?
When a young lady of France
Said, “you men have no romance!”,
And I said, “come over here
And we’ll drink lots of beer!”,
She returned with speed to France!
When a young man of France
Asked to see a lap dance
And they offered him overpriced, lukewarm champagne,
He said, “if its all the same,
I’d rather just see a lap dance!”.
A young man named Hopp
Beats me with his mop.
I’ve begged him to desist,
But he continues to persist.
He’ll surely break that mop!
This story contains some strong language. if you are offended by strong language, please read no further.
—
Bethany tasted blood and suddenly became aware that she was chewing her lower lip, No, not chewing, she was actually biting it hard enough to produce blood. How long had she been doing that for? Bethany had no idea.
She made a conscious efort to stop gnawing her lip but, in doing so became acutely aware of the cheap short skirt and the 6 inch heels on which she tottered.
“Fuck, what am I doing here?”, she thought, taking hold of the lamp post for support. Dam those heels, she could hardly stand in them let alone walk!
“Looking for business love?”. Bethany started, and became aware of 2 scruffily dressed guys in an old Ford. “No”. “Then what the hell are you standing there for, on the street corner?”, the driver said and, not waiting for an answer stuck up 2 fingers and drove away.
“Oh god this is all a fucking mistake”, Bethany thought, stamping her feet trying to keep warm. Shit, her right heel had snapped clean off. “cheap bloody shoes, horrid skirt”, she said outloud, starting to cry.
A car pulled over and a man in a clerical collar leaned out of the driver’s window, “excuse me, are you looking for business?”, “you know I bloody well am”, Bethany said climbing in next to the vicar.
They drove in silence, Bethany glaring at the clerical gentleman. “Chill out Bethany. You can’t deny that its authentic. I bet you will be the only girl at the Tarts and Vicars Party who can say that they have stood on a street corner, dressed as a tart and been picked up by her boyfriend, dressed as a vicar!”.
The end
K Morris - Poet 