Category Archives: k morris poet

On Opening My Large Old Wardrobe

On opening my large old wardrobe
And seeing a young lady’s earlobe,
I said, “have you seen my shirt?”,
At which she called me a flirt,
And said, “please put on your robe!”.

When An Extremely Fat Man Named William Paul

When an extremely fat man named William Paul
Fell with great force against my garden wall,
And I heard the wall crack
As he fell on his back,
I said, “Paul, shall pay for my wall!”.

When A Young Lady Named Claire

When a young lady named Claire
Asked, “shall we have a sordid affair?”,
And I said, “just us 2?”,
She replied, “do you like Miss Lou?”,
And this poem, it stops right there …

When A Young Lady of Greece

When a young lady of Greece
Said, “when will your writing cease?”,
I replied, with a grin,
“Are you in to hot sin?”,
And then she called the police!

Sometimes I think that those who lop and chop

Sometimes I think that those
Who lop
And chop
At that which organically grows,
And think they do good
No not the wood
As a whole
Is possessed of a soul,
And that sometimes one should let be
Both wood
And tree,
For who
Are you
And I
To quantify variety?

A Case of Mistaken Identity

A few days back, I received an email from a lady saying how nice it had been to meet me, expressing thanks for looking at her poems and asking if I could please provide her with the telephone number of a MS S. We had, she said met in a pub called The Bull.

All of this was delightful. However, I have no recollection whatsoever of having met the lady in question. I don’t frequent a pub called The Bull and I am not acquainted with MS s!

On receving the email, I had a moment of doubt. Had I, suffered a memory loss, or been in some third dimention! A few seconds thought led to the obvious conclusion that the lady had emailed me in error. She had, I assume met with another poet and wishing to ascertain Ms S’s number had searched online for the poet in question. However, rather than finding her acquaintence she had found one K Morris Poet online, namely myself!

I sent a polite response to my correspondent saying that she had emailed me by mistake and wishing her well with her poems, and that was the end of the matter save for a brief email from the lady apologising for her mistake.

This is not the first time that I have been mistaken for someone other than myself. I have been asked whether I played the piano in a pub I have never drunk in, and been asked if I used to live in an area with which I am unfamiliar. Perhaps I have a long lost twin of whom I am wholly unaware!

Whilst I have never propped up the bar in The Bull, I have, for many years enjoyed the convivial atmosphere in The Railway Bell, https://www.rampubcompany.co.uk/visit-pubs/railway-bell. The Bell has an unofficial lending library where customers can leave books and borrow those left by others. I am delighted that several of my books are on the shelves (you can see my “selected Poems” in the photograph below).

Kevin