There was a young man called Adolf
Who was very fond of his golf.
When it came to their wedding day
His girlfriend did say,
“He is with his golfing partner Rolfe!”
—
There was a young lady called Louise
Who kept a hive of bees.
When people asked, “Do they sting?”,
She said, “That’s the thing,
And they are very fond of cheese …!”
My hair is silver-grey
And it is my birthday tomorrow.
We all borrow time
But, when young tend not to think
On such things as we drink
The wine.
I will be forty-eight.
Sometimes I glimpse a gate
That opens into a peaceful wood,
Where the blood
Ceases to run
And the sun
Is as one with the dark.
My heart
Beats strong
And I will lose myself in friends, wine and song,
So smile enigmatically and say
“tomorrow is my birthday”.
These dry
Leaves do not die.
They become one with the earth.
A derth
Of green
Is seen,
Then a rebirth,
The old, in the new
Takes root
And does heavenwards shute.
The past, present and future one may see
In the mighty tree,
While you and me
Pass by
With a sigh
As we ponder on our mortality.
There was a young lady called Ruth
Who strove to discover the truth.
The Guardian and the Daily Telegraph she did take
And of their opinions did partake,
And thereby discovered something approaching the truth …!
(The Daily Telegraph is a Conservative/centre-right newspaper, while the Guardian is best characterised as liberal/left in it’s leanings).
There was a young lady called Jane
Who always did maintain
That she could eat a horse
But, of course
The saddle she would retain …!
The bedclothes
Are neatly made
And the lone head laid
On pillows replete
With the scent of soap powder.
The portrait is complete
For nothing in January grows.
There was a young lady called Lin
Who liked to bang on a tin.
She banged it every Sunday morn,
Which caused the bishop to warn
That Lin was committing a sin …!
There was a young lady called Rose
Who had an accident while using a hose.
She got very wet
And said with regret,
“I can not master this hose!”
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who owned a violin.
She played it at night,
Which was much to the delight
Of the fox who raided her bin!
—
There was a young lady called Hester
Who was a bit of a jester.
In the midst of telling a joke
The poor girl did choke,
And they buried her in Chester!
—
There was a young lady called Rose
Who lost all her clothes
While out for a walk.
When her friends did talk
She said,”that’s just the way it goes …!”
Checking my Gmail spam folder, I came across a solicitation, from a book promotion service, inviting me to advertise my work on their website. The following paragraph particularly caught my attention:
“The (name of site redacted by me) specialize in making
sure that your book gets seen by readers
as well as media on major platforms to force
sales and with clear visibility”.
I am a simple soul and struggle to comprehend how one can “force” sales. As anyone with a rudimentary grasp of the English language knows, the word “force” implies coercion, compulsion etc. The use of the word “force” conjures up images of readers being frog marched to virtual check-outs and being compelled to part with their money. A virtual version of “stand and deliver” if you like. Surely this is not what the company in question mean by their employment of the word “force”.
One can not “force” another to do something against their will without the employment of blackmail, and/or the threat of (or actual utilisation of) violence. I am sure the organisation in question are not in any way advocating the use of such methods. None the less their use of the word “force” is sloppy in the extreme and does not inspire me with confidence regarding the service on offer. Consequently I wont be signing up with this outfit.
A documentary to be aired later today (Sunday 1 January), on channel 4, claims that the real reason for the sinking of the Titanic stemmed from a fire in the ship’s boiler room, which had been raging since it set sail from Southampton.
Had it not been for the fire the documentary claims, what could have been a relatively minor encounter with an iceberg, turned into a major disaster.
While the fire was mentioned at the enquiry into the sinking of the Titanic, according to the documentary not enough attention has been paid to it.
According to the film the ship’s owners where criminally negligent as they set sail in full knowledge of the existence of the fire in order to avoid further delays to the Titanic’s maiden voyage.
There is a fascinating exhibition featuring the Titanic at Liverpool’s Maritime museum which is, incidentally the city of my birth and a place for which I retain great affection.
For information on the documentary please see HERE.
For information on Liverpool’s connection with the Titanic please visit HERE.
