I know a young lady called Divine
Who often comes round to mine.
Her husband Bill
Swears he will
Come round but not with wine …!
I Know A Young Lady Called Divine
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Category Archives: books
Tuesday Morning Humour
There was a young lady called Hall
Who invited me to a ball,
But when I got there
She said, with a glare
“I didn’t invite you at all!”.
There was a young lady called Hall
Who invited me to a ball,
But when I got there
She said, with a glare
“This invitation I fail to recall!”.
There was a young lady from France
Who requested me to dance.
Her best friend Lou
Said “me too”
Which led to a little romance …!
There was a young lady from France
Who invited me to dance.
As we waltzed on the dance floor
Her husband, General More
Brandished a very sharp lance!
There Was A Young Lady Called Lou
There was a young lady called Lou
Who owned one single shoe.
She would hop along,
Singing a song,
That excentric young lady called Lou!
There was a young lady called Lou
(Or perhaps her name it was Sue).
She worked as a spy
And I’m told she did die
But I really don’t know if that’s true!
Cat
You padded around
Without a sound,
In that natural, unnatural way.
The curtains where closed
For, without any clothes
My neighbours would have something to say,
As you padded around,
Without any sound
In that natural, unnatural way.
Loyal as a black
Cat, would you come back
Where there cream today,
And pad around
Without a sound
In that natural, unnatural way?
There Was A Young Lady Named Kate
There was a young lady named Kate
Who invited me out on a date.
Her best friend Bess
Lost her dress
And kate, she just couldn’t wait!
There was a young lady named Kate
Who invited me out on a date.
When her best friend Bess
Lost her little black dress
Kate, she cancelled our date!
There Was A Young Man Named Guy
There was a young man named Guy
Who lay on the ground to die.
When it started to rain
He sang a sad refrain
Which made me want to die!
The Ride
We ride
To forget
Regret.
We build inside
Savouring the mare’s stride.
Glide
And then slow
But oh
How quickly we let go
And in our fertile
Thrust
We proclaim our denial
That man is but dust
There Was A Young Lady Called Claire
There was a young lady called Claire
With whom I had an affair.
Her best friend Lou
Joined we two
Along with a girl named Flair!
There was a young lady called Claire
With whom I had an affair.
When her husband Drew
Caught us two
He kicked me down their stair!
I Awoke to Ravens Cawing
I awoke to ravens cawing.
Their voices sawing
Through my mind.
No peace can I find
From the bird of ill omen
Who mocked the Roman
As he withdrew from these shores,
The bird’s caws
Lost in sea and oars.
Forever Alone
He finds you online
Or over the phone
But he
And she
Are always alone.
In the hotel room
Perfume
Lingers on
Though she is gone
Back to the streets of stone
For she
And he
Are forever alone.
