Many thanks to Creative Dreamers for publishing my poem “Leaves”, as a guest post. For “Leaves” please visit, https://creativedreamers.wordpress.com/2016/09/14/leaves-by-kevin-morris/.
“Leaves” by K Morris
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Author Archives: K Morris Poet
How to Promote Your Books
Free Image Licensed from 123RF Stock Photo – Copyright amasterpics123
How best to promote one’s literary masterpiece, is an issue which exercises the mind of many an author, including my own. In the spirit of reaching out to my fellow authors I thought it was high time for me to set out my thoughts on this most important of topics. Below are some suggestions which will, I hope prove helpful to those who labour over smoking hot keyboards:
1. Climb Nelson’s column and recite passages, from your books with the aid of a loud hailer from that vantage point. You will, no doubt attract a crowd of curious onlookers together with a fair quantity of pigeon droppings for Trafalgar Square is a magnet to which our feathered friends flock. If it’s a nice sunny day you might also wish to don colourful swimming attire thereby further delighting the audience who will be listening, with rapt attention to your every word.
2. Hide behind the bookshelves in W. H. Smiths or some other purveyor of books and jump out on potential readers shouting at the top of your voice, “buy my book, buy my book” and if they are so ungracious as to refuse to avail themselves of your literary masterpiece, belabour them around the head with a copy of same.
3. Remove other authors books from the shelves in public libraries (for they are mere dross when compared to your scribblings) and replace their works wwith copies of your worthy tomes.
4. When talking to potential dates, regail them with chapter and verse as to why they should purchase your books. I find it helps to back them into a corner and (if at all possible) to ensure there is no easy means of exit. You may well not find the love of your life by employing such a stratagem. However your ex date will, very probably buy your book in order to effect his/her escape!
5. Send out automated tweets, every 5 seconds or so saying “please, please, please buy my book”. Your Twitter followers will be so impressed with your efforts they will show their appreciation by purchasing your book in droves or, just possibly deserting you in droves …!
6. If all else fails, repeat and repeat again!
Why Authors Need to Be as Accessible as Possible
I agree with much of this post. In particular carrying a supply of books with you can make the difference between making (and not making) a sale. I also have business cards but must confess I dont always remember to carry them with me. Kevin
There was a Young Lady from a Strange Land
There was a young lady from a strange land
Who walked using only one hand.
When they asked her “why?”
She replied, with a sigh,
“If I explained, you wouldn’t understand!”
There was a young man from Barking
There was a young man from Barking
Who experienced problems when parking.
He parked on a cliff ledge,
Very close to the edge.
His girlfriend screamed “you are barking”!
Be Careful What you Wish for
Be careful what you wish for. You might actually get it
—
No harm in wishing
But, if you go fishing
In deep pools
Where fools
Fish,
Then sooner or later you may attain your wish.
A dainty dish
Not meant for the tasting by such as you
Has led many a man to rue
Their wish
For forbidden fish.
The cat sat on a river bank
Desirous to catch a fish.
Stretching out his paws, he obtained his wish
But, leaning too far over, fell into the water and sank.
‘Tis better to stay on the river bank …
Plaything
Hoping against hope
Is a slippery slope.
Will the phone ring
And bring
A temporary release,
A kind of peace?
Hope tenuous as fingers that on the cliff edge scrabble,
And a mouth dry as gravel.
Thoughts travel
Back:
A lack
Of control, Shown by a boy
With a shiny new toy.
The plaything once tried
The child cried
Out once more for the toy
That brought such joy,
But the bauble left
Leaving him bereft.
Should the phone not sound
No lesson profound
Will be learned
For the spurned
Boy
Will batten on a new toy.
Of Words, a Raft, & a Dragonfly
“And the raft is cast aside on the shore of destination only replaced by a new raft which in time will discard itself, inasmuch as knowledge begets wisdom.” -JC
I had a dream that I lived on an island, a faraway island where I was completely ignorant of the world and my place in it. And one day I awoke from a deep sleep only to see a Dragonfly who bid me follow. I suddenly found
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“For mine own good,
All causes shall give way. I am in blood
Stepped in so far that, should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o’er”.
(Macbeth: Act 3, Scene 4).
—
The extraordinary and new
Does, through
The passing of the years
Engender ordinary tears.
Although normalisation may not lead to crying
Inside something is dieing,
The soul
Perhaps?
Then, at first unnoticed the whole
Edifice begins to collapse.
Masonry imperceptibly crumbles.
There may be mumbles of regret
And yet
Brick after brick tumbles.
Once a piece of the building has gone
A man may carry on
Down the same path
With a weary laugh,
Though the loss of a single brick
May his conscience prick.
Bombardment!
I have just, for the first time in my period as a blogger, unsubscribed from a fellow blogger’s site. I thought long and hard about my decision (after all I hope no one ever feels the need to unsubscribe from newauthoronline.com). However, having given the matter serious consideration I determined to click that unsubscribe button/link.
The blogger in question (who I will not name as it is not my intention to publicly shame anyone) has, over the past few weeks been bombarding me and their other followers with articles from one particular news source, almost invariably with no comment as to why the piece in question was being shared. The individual in question is an author and as such I fully expect him/her to have an interest in matters other than writing (we authors after all do not exist in a vacuum but have interests outside of writing. In my case this does include current affairs, but not to the extent of being bombarded with nothing other than such material over the past few weeks).
Approximately 12 months ago the same blogger went through a phase of automated tweets inviting me and his other followers to purchase their book. Needless to say I somehow resisted the temptation to reach for my virtual wallet and do so! At that juncture I was sorely tempted to unsubscribe, however I determined to give the site owner in question another chance and refrained from doing so, what an error of judgement that was on my part for, having been silent for a protracted period the bombardment of articles from a particular source began.
It goes without saying that every blog/site owner is entitled to blog whatever material they choose, provided of course that it does not break the law by, for example being an incitement to religious or racial hatred etc. However activities such as those described above are, in my opinion certain to alienate fellow bloggers (not just myself) and I wouldn’t be surprised if this person suffers a mass desertion of followers.
Rant over.
Kevin
