A hint of perfume
In a bachelor’s bedroom.
He remembers a knock.
And finds her sock.
Ah, the great lock-down,
And society’s unforgiving frown!
Monthly Archives: April 2020
When A Gorgeous Young Lady Named Page
When a gorgeous young lady named Page
Said, “I need to know your age
Before I consider any dating”,
And I said, “my chauffeur is waiting”,
She quickly forgot my age!
When A Beautiful Young Lady Wearing Stiletto Heels
When a beautiful young lady wearing stiletto heels
Said, “all you men are slippery as eels!”.
I said, “you are pretty,
And more than just witty.
But please wear some clothes with those heels!”.
My Friend Whose Name Is Rory
My friend whose name is Rory
Is an extremely high old Tory.
He lives in a skyscraper,
Where we’ve had many a caper.
But that’s a different story!
In Spring, Their Are Many Chances
In Spring, there are many chances
For dances.
Shy flowers
Have powers
Over men.
And when
They open
Words of love are spoken,
By lads who,
Sometimes, say what is true!
In Summer’s heat
Girl’s naked feet
Pass over grass
As they walk
And talk
With boys who
Say words, a few,
Of which are, probably true!
In autumn, young women
Frown
At men who, their
Minds on sinning
Say, “I do not dye
My hair
Brown”.
Whilst women well past girlhood
Employ expensive mud,
In order to engage
With guys, half their age.
Come wintertime
Poets rhyme
And philosophize
On pretty eyes
They may not have.
For the years have passed
And the lad
And the lass,
Are out to grass.
Ghoul (flash fiction)
“You know that I never wanted to buy the house in the first place, don’t you!”, he said.
“Don’t I just. You’ve never stopped wittering on about how you hate it here since we moved in! In fact I remember arguing all night before you finally gave in and agreed to sign the contract. Why the hell did you agree if you hate it here so much? Don’t tell me, its because it was so bloody cheap. That’s you all over, you’ve never been able to resist a bargain, even though your loaded, with all that dosh you got when your gran died!”, she said.
“Call me all the names you like. I’ve never felt comfortable here. There’s that strange whirring noise I heard when we first looked around here. I can hear it now. It gives me the heebie jeebies.
There’s that room downstairs as well. You open the door and its always cold in there, whilst the rest of the place is, I have to admit warm. Its not natural, that chill, I hate going anywhere near that room.
There’s that strange light also. It comes on whenever anyone opens the door to that place. I think we’ve inherited a ghoul. In fact I’ve half a mind to put the place on the market tomorrow morning!”, he said.
“Inherited a ghoul! How many times do I have to tell you, that’s the walk-in freezer Mrs Michaels included in the sale …!”.
Of Romantics and Frantics
The first time
May be
As a rhyme
Betwixt
He and She.
Lips
In passion, fasten
On lips.
But not all poetry
Is written by romantics.
Frantics,
Partake for the first time.
Which is, to my mind
A kind
Of rhyme.
When a Young Man Named Rimmer
When a young man named Rimmer
Borrowed his girlfriend’s brand new strimmer
To trim his beard,
She found it weird,
As he owned a beard trimmer!
A Gentleman by the Name of Ted
A gentleman by the name of Ted
Said, “I’ve been lying on this deathbed
Since the beginning of the year,
But I’ve run out of beer,
So I’d better get out of bed!”.
When A Budding Young Author Named Cook
When a budding young author named Cook
Said, “how should I open my book?”,
I said, “just look beyond the cover
And you will soon discover,
What lies within that book!”.