There was a young lady called Lorraine
Who boarded a London bound train.
When informed “this is an Express”,
She said “I must confess
That I meant to board a plane …!”
There Was A Young Lady Called Lorraine
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Monthly Archives: January 2017
Five Fascinating Facts about The Merchant of Venice
I went to see the Merchant of Venice with friends a month or so ago. It is a wonderful play and raises interesting questions regarding antisemitism. On the one hand Shylock is a very unpleasant character demanding his “pound of flesh” which he knows will lead to the death of Antonio. On the other hand he is insulted due to his jewishness (the antisemitism in the play makes one feel deeply uncomfortable and, in my view Shakespeare does have some sympathy for Shylock).
Fun facts about Shakespeare’s play
1. Contrary to popular belief, the ‘merchant of Venice’ in the title of Shakespeare’s play isn’t Shylock. In the popular consciousness – i.e. among those who are aware that Shakespeare’s play contains a character named Shylock but who haven’t read or seen the play – Shylock is the merchant of Venice referred to in Shakespeare’s title. But of course the merchant is really Antonio, and Shylock the Jewish man who makes him a loan; as the scholar Stephen Greenblatt has observed, this popular misunderstanding says a great deal about how Shylock comes to dominate the play in which he appears, eclipsing all other characters.
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A few limericks
There was a young man called Adolf
Who was very fond of his golf.
When it came to their wedding day
His girlfriend did say,
“He is with his golfing partner Rolfe!”
—
There was a young lady called Louise
Who kept a hive of bees.
When people asked, “Do they sting?”,
She said, “That’s the thing,
And they are very fond of cheese …!”
Birthday
My hair is silver-grey
And it is my birthday tomorrow.
We all borrow time
But, when young tend not to think
On such things as we drink
The wine.
I will be forty-eight.
Sometimes I glimpse a gate
That opens into a peaceful wood,
Where the blood
Ceases to run
And the sun
Is as one with the dark.
My heart
Beats strong
And I will lose myself in friends, wine and song,
So smile enigmatically and say
“tomorrow is my birthday”.
Death and Rebirth.3.
These dry
Leaves do not die.
They become one with the earth.
A derth
Of green
Is seen,
Then a rebirth,
The old, in the new
Takes root
And does heavenwards shute.
The past, present and future one may see
In the mighty tree,
While you and me
Pass by
With a sigh
As we ponder on our mortality.
Variety is the spice of life
One of the advantages of being blind, is that it enables me to live in a world composed of many and varied surprises. To take one example, when opening a can I am never quite sure whether it’s contents will delight my taste buds with Baxters vegetable soup (please note that other brands are available)! Or custard …! It is, I often think fortunate that my guide dog, Trigger eats a complete dried food, otherwise who knows what I might be enjoying the next time that can opener goes to work …
Today I popped into my local supermarket and purchased (amongst other items) 2 boxes of microwavable porridge and 1 box of Earl Grey tea bags (again other varieties of tea are, of course available)! On reaching home I found that I had 3 cardboard boxes and was faced with trying to ascertain what each contained. By placing the boxes together I discovered 2 where of the exact same size while the third was of different dimmentions. Given that I had bought 2 packs of porridge I therefore correctly concluded that the odd one out in my interesting collection of boxes must, of necessity be the tea. Had I purchased a greater variety of packages I would, almost certainly have required sighted assistance to determine what each contained.
Things are easier for visually impaired people than was previously the case. For example all medication now comes with braille labelling, which as a user of this medium is extremely helpful to me. Again most bleach now comes with a braille label clearly identifying it as such, although many other poisonous products, for example toilet cleaner do not.
There are solutions to enable visually impaired people to label products, for example a hand held device allows those with sight difficulties to record a short note on a plastic card identifying products which can then be affixed via an elastic band or string. However this solution relies on sighted assistance to identify the item in the first instance thereby enabling the VI individual to label it.
A hand held scanner has been developed allowing blind people to identify products and I am considering purchasing one. In the meantime I remain thankful that my guide dog eats dry rather than tinned food …!
There Was A Young Lady Called Ruth
There was a young lady called Ruth
Who strove to discover the truth.
The Guardian and the Daily Telegraph she did take
And of their opinions did partake,
And thereby discovered something approaching the truth …!
(The Daily Telegraph is a Conservative/centre-right newspaper, while the Guardian is best characterised as liberal/left in it’s leanings).
New Laptop
Back in early 2011, I purchased a Sony Vio laptop (the machine on which most of my writing is done). I had, of course owned both laptops and desktop computers prior to buying the Sony. I do, however have no hesitation in stating that the Sony Vio is the most stable machine ever owned by me. This may stem in part at least from the fact that it is equipped with Windows 7 while previous machines worked utilising earlier versions of the notorious Microsoft operating System Vista. (Anyone who has had the misfortune to work with Vista will, I believe have their own tales of woe, made up of crashing operating systems due, in large measure to the amount of space taken up by Vista and the instability of the operating system).
During my visit to Liverpool, over the Christmas holiday in 2014, I knocked a cup of tea over my trusty Vio which lead to me having to replace the laptop’s keyboard (given it is a good old workhorse I was happy to pay the £60 entailed in doing so). Ironically, on returning from Liverpool (having attended the Christmas festivities in 2015), I found that the hard drive of my Vio had given up the ghost and required to be replaced. Again I paid for the machine’s repair.
All things do, however come to an end and this Christmas I received a Linova laptop as a present. Later this morning my friend Jeff is coming round to assist in setting up the new laptop. Being blind, I require assistance as Windows laptops/computers do not speak “out of the box”. My friend will ensure that the latest version of Windows 10 updates, then help in installing Job Access with Speech or JAWS (the software which converts text into speech and braille enabling visually impaired computer users to utilise Windows machines).
My Sony will, over time retire. It will, however remain as a spare machine.
I will be sorry to see this happen. It is, as I said at the start of this post, the laptop on which the lion’s share of my work has been produced. I am familiar with it’s workings an have become rather fond of it (well as much as one can become fond of a non-living object)! I am keeping my fingers crossed that the new Linova works as well as my good old Sony Vio laptop …
There Was A Young Lady Called Jane
There was a young lady called Jane
Who always did maintain
That she could eat a horse
But, of course
The saddle she would retain …!
January
The bedclothes
Are neatly made
And the lone head laid
On pillows replete
With the scent of soap powder.
The portrait is complete
For nothing in January grows.
K Morris - Poet 