Tag Archives: satire

“Doctor Foster” Reinterpreted

I have played around, (purely for my own amusement), with the English nursery rhyme “Doctor Foster”. The first rendering is the traditional rendering, followed by my reinterpretations:

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He stepped in a puddle,
Right up to his middle,
And never went there again.

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He got in a muddle,
When he fell in a puddle,
And never went there again.

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He indulged in a cuddle,
In the midst of a puddle,
With a lady whose name was Jane.

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He stepped in a puddle,
Which did befuddle
His poor overtaxed brain.

“The Devil In The Belfry” by Edgar Alan Poe

The writer, Edgar Alan Poe is noted for his tales of horror and his dark poetry. Those thinking of Poe will, in all probability recollect his dark poem “The Raven” and stories such as “The Fall Of The House Of Usher”. Po was, however also capable of satire as is demonstrated by his short story “The Devil In The Belfry”.

“The Devil In The Belfry” is a satire on a small dutch town in which nothing changes. The inhabitants of the place are contented to live with their clocks which all keep perfect time and are governed by the timepiece in the steple of the town hall, the latter being attended to by a very important gentleman who is looked up to by the townspeople.

The good people of this unchanging world find joy not merely in clocks but also in cabbages which proliferate in the place. Indeed these nourishing vegetables grow not only outside but can also be found adorning the mantlepieces of every home.

Fun for the boys in the town consists of appending watches to the tails of cats and pigs, while their fathers smoke contentedly on leather bottomed chairs and the women cook indoors. But, unhappily this blisfull life is turned up-side-down.

To read Poe’s story please visit, http://xroads.virginia.edu/~hyper/poe/belfry.html

Should Writers Be Political?

A little while back I came across a post entitled “Are Writers Allowed To Express Political Opinions”, https://ryanlanz.com/2017/12/01/are-writers-allowed-to-express-political-opinions/. Before proceeding further, I would like to make it clear that in a free society writers (along with the rest of the population) have an absolute right to voice their views. I have always voted and will continue to do so as to complain and not to vote is, in my view at best risible and at worst smacks of hypocrisy. However the point of this post is to examine whether it is wise for writers to express political opinions.

I recall attending a poetry reading, during the course of which one of the performers regaled the audience with a poem lauding the virtues of a former British prime minister. As a point of information, my view of the PM in question is that their period in office saw both positive and negative measures taken by the administrations in question. However the poem’s uncritical lauding of the politician and its blatant political purpose made me squirm. I suspect that I was far from being alone in my feeling of relief when this piece of propaganda was at an end.

Political poetry need not, however have one squirming in one’s seat. Take, for example the 17th-century “Vicar of Bray which begins thus:

“1. In good King Charles’ golden time, when loyalty no harm meant,
A zealous high churchman was I, and so I gained preferment.
To teach my flock, I never missed: Kings are by God appointed
And damned are those who dare resist or touch the Lord’s annointed.

(Chorus):

And this be law, that I’ll maintain until my dying day, sir
That whatsoever king may reign, Still I’ll be the Vicar of Bray, sir. …”. (http://www.britainexpress.com/attraction-articles.htm?article=29).

In the above poem, we are treated to a wonderful description of a vicar who will change his principles in whatever way will advance his survival in the living of Bray. The man has no loyalty whatsoever other than to himself. The poem manages to be both bitingly funny and to attack political opportunism at the same time.

One does not, in my view need to agree with the sentiments being expressed to find poetry that expresses political views interesting and/or amusing. Take, for example Hilaire Belloc’s “On A Great Election”:

“The accursed power which stands on privilege
(And goes with women, and champagne, and bridge)
Broke—and democracy resumed her reign
(Which goes with bridge, and women, and champagne)”.

Although I think that Belloc’s view is overly cynical, his poem does, none the less strike a chord with me and brings a smile to my face, which is a key factor in any good poem (that it resonates with the reader).

As for my own work, anyone who reads my poetry will, I believe gain a view as regards my political outlook. Be wary though my dear reader for my tongue is sometimes firmly implanted in my cheek!

In conclusion, writers do, of course have a perfect right to express political views. However few people like a didact and much of the best political poetry contains an element of satire. Orwell’s “Animal Farm, Animal Farm, never through me shall you come to harm” causes the reader to wince and is intended to do so, for Orwell is satirising the sloganeering of the Communist left. Orwell’s quote is, in my opinion far superior to the poem regarding a former British Prime Minister, which I was forced to sit through during a poetry reading some time ago.

Kevin

Said Hooray Henry to Henrietta

Said Hooray Henry to Henrietta
“Did you receive my love letter?
It was written in latin and greek
For I can speak
Both as you can see.
I have a first class degree
From Oxford. Oh do say that you will join me on the Charwell
For who can tell
What may happen, as we punt along
Singing a boating song”.

Said Henrietta,
“I did receive your love letter.
I too can speak
Latin and greek.
But my dear
I fear
That I have been untrue
To you,
With the gamekeeper Foil.
He may be a hoary old man of toil,
But he’s a dab hand with the massage oil …

A couple of limericks

There was a young lady called Molly
Who purchased an expensive brolly.
Much to her dismay
The brolly blew away,
So she bought a shopping trolley!

There was a young lady called Holly
Who was extremely posh and jolly.
She married a man of lowly station,
Which caused her family much consternation,
But the vicar was fat and jolly!

The Old Squire

The old squire knew he would die.
Heaving a sigh
He beckoned to his wife.
“Come near,
My dear.
The strife
Of life
Will soon be done.
I hear yonder church clock,
Chime.
O how time does run
Away.
Soon death will on this great door knock
And take my soul away.
Pray
One thing I would know
Before I go.
Was it you,
My wife most true
Or my mistress with her ribbons so gay,
Who put poison in my cup today?!”

The Case of the Missing Book

“Holmes!” I cried,
I have tried
To deduce who took
My book.
I gave it to a girl, that she might read
And by so doing her mind feed.

She works in a store,
And would, I thought handle it with care,
But, on my return I discovered it was no longer there.
I fear it will be seen no more
And is forever lost somewhere in that store”.

My dear Watson, someone took
Your book,
While it was left lying around
By a shop girl, in a well known store.
I agree you will see it no more.
It is a problem too profound
For the great detective to solve.
Therefore resolve
To neither a borrower nor a lender be,
Else you will see
Another book
Get took
By the light fingered kind.
But quieten your mind
For it was in all likelihood
Taken by one who thought your poetry good!”

A Few Humorous Poems for the Festive Season

A few humorous poems for you to enjoy over the festive season:
Christmas Dinner – https://newauthoronline.com/2015/12/24/christmas-dinner-humour-not-to-be-taken-seriously/
Shall I compare Thee? – https://newauthoronline.com/2015/12/12/shall-i-compare-thee/
Werner – https://newauthoronline.com/2016/04/12/werner/
Fleecem and Proper – https://newauthoronline.com/tag/fleecem-and-proper/

I met a Maid

I met a maid.
Staid
And proper was she,
Who said unto me,
“I love thee.
Let us make free,
But not too much so
For a girl must go
To the marketplace,
Where she will embrace
The latest fashion,
For it is her passion
To please her man.
Therefore can
You take care of me
And you will see
Just how much I love thee …!”

I said, “Oh maid,
Most staid
And proper.
I thank you for your generous offer,
But I regret my coffer
Can not maintain a professional shopper.
Be not sad
For you may find some other lad
Mad
Enough to grant your dearest wish.
Go forth and angle
And you will no doubt entangle
Some other happless fish!”