I know a newspaper hack
Who goes by the name of Jack.
He wrote a story about me
And an erotic dancer called Leigh,
I swear I’ll pay him back!
I Know A Newspaper Hack
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Tag Archives: Rhyme
When A Man Whose Name is Grub
When a man whose name is Grub
Recited his poems in my local pub,
And he fell drunk on the floor
I called out for more,
Although his verse I never understood!
Karl Marx Discussed Factors of Production with His Maid
Karl Marx discussed factors of production
With his maid
Who, no longer staid
Learned about equality,
The seduction
Of maid
By master
And what it is
To be free.
There Was A Young Man Named Frank
There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I am washing my hair
And there is deep water down there!
So I’d rather not walk the plank!”.
—
There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I shall obey your command,
But we are on dry land,
So what is the point of the plank?”
I Know A Young Barmaid Named Page
I know a young barmaid named Page
With whom I try to engage.
But when I ask her to dance
She says, “you have no chance,
As your bar bill you haven’t paid!”.
—
I know a young actress named Page
With whom I tried to engage.
But when I asked her to dance
She said, “you have no chance,
Then she threw me off the stage!”.
There Was A Young Lady Named Lizzie
There was a young lady named Lizzie
Who was always so terribly busy.
Well that’s what she said,
But she was often in bed,
That mendacious young lady named Lizzie!
My Shadow Falls
My shadow falls,
On the pavement,
In the sun,
And when the sun goes down
And the world in darkness does drown,
I and my shadow
Will be done.
Music for a Dying Civilisation
Music for a dying
Civilisation, followed me along London’s Victoria Street.
Then, lost amidst a myriad hurrying feet,
It’s sighing,
Gradually died away.
A Young Lady Who Is Extremely Sinful
A young lady who is extremely sinful,
Having imbibed more than a skinfull,
Invited me back to her pad
But, being a very good lad
I declined that young lady most sinfull!
A Man of the World Looks Back
I remember the first time.
Not quite a one night stand
For I saw
Her at least once more
And write this rhyme
To set down what was not
Quite the first time,
But, for better (or worse)
She was the first
Of her kind.
I shall say no more
For to bore
Is rude
And this rhyme
About another kind
Of first time
May be viewed
As boring and crude
By those who
Through their Pangloss glasses
See only pure
Unboring lasses
