When a young lady named Patricia
Advertised her services as a stripper,
The police went straight round
But found only her hound,
Chewing on the Chief Constable’s slipper!
Tag Archives: poets
Cheap Shoes
Cheap shoes
On expensive legs.
A man may choose
To lose
Time in beds
With girls who watch the clock.
Tick tock.
The frock
Goes back on
And she is gone
In her cheap shoes,
On Expensive legs,
To meet,
Under the same (yet different sheet),
With another man who, lying in bed
May, through his extasy
Hear the drear
Tick tock
And see
That she
Does watch the clock.
Or maybe
He will sense
That she does so
And will learn to know
The expense
Of cheap
Shoes,
And ponder on the recompense
Of gorgeous legs
He can not keep.
Then sleep
In his, empty, bed.
There Once Was A Man Named Tombs
There once was a man named Tombs
Who gave all his friends the glooms,
With his very sad verse,
Which caused them to curse,
And now he’s gone to the glooms!
A Young Lady Whose Name Is Miss Lou
A young lady whose name is Miss Lou
Said, “please tell me, is it really true,
That you have a sense of humour?,
Or is it merely a wicked rumour?,
And why is your beard painted deep blue?”.
A Young Lady Named Dawn
A young lady named Dawn
Composed a poem most forlorn,
Which caused some to cry
Whilst her new husband Guy,
Tried to hide a yawn!
There Was A Young Lady Named Rose
There was a young lady named Rose
Who composed in the shortest of prose.
She wrote on her belly
Using the best strawberry jelly,
But sometimes she composed on her nose
When A Young Lady Named Miss Nell
When a young lady named Miss Nell
Said, “many men have fell
In the hotel of pleasure.
Sir, I was wondering whether …?”
I replied, “Nell, you know me well!”.
A Young Lady Whose Name Is Lou
A young lady whose name is Lou
Is so extremely fond of strong glue
That she eats it each day,
And I’m very sorry to say,
That she’s really stuck up is Lou!
When A Man Whose Name Was Lee
When a man whose name was Lee
Said, “this tree shall long outlast me”,
The tree, being sound asleep
Did not sigh or weep,
Which was just as it should be!
There Once Was A PM Called Boris
There once was a PM called Boris
Who, whilst reading The Odes of Horace,
Spied the Downing Street Cat
With a rather large rat,
Which rather put the PM off Horace!