A young man named Guy
Offered me some cottage pie
It had stones and window frames.
So I said, “I’ll refrain.
Would you like a shepherd’s eye?”.
Cottage Pie
2 Replies
Tag Archives: nonsense verse
When I Said To My Friend May
When I said to my friend May,
“Do you work for the CIA?”,
She said, with a big smile,
“You have such wit and style.
I don’t want to kill you today!”.
I Met A Young Lady On Zoom
I met a young lady on Zoom
Who said she lived on the moon.
I said, “in that famous old nursery rhyme,
Which has been around for such a long time,
Why did the cow jump over the moon?”.
The Castle
When a young lady named Claire
Built a castle in the air,
And her sister May
Went there to stay.
She found no fine castle there!
Claire
A young lady named Clair
Said, “Sir, you should take great care,
As there are so many young Women
Who do nothing but sinning.
Now sir, shall we mount the stair?”.
Lou
“Oh Lou, do take off your shoe,
And let down your long blonde hair”.
“There is no harm in that sir.
And as for my shoe,
I’ll do that for you.
But, sir I have 2?”.
“Lou, take off both your shoe”.
“Sir, you must mean shoes.
I beg you to use
Correct grammar, as all gentlemen should!”.
“Dear Lou, please would
You remove your stockings?”.
“Sir, cease your mocking.
I’m not wearing stockings!”.
“Oh dear Lou, that all-in-one
Dress could soon be gone.
Please, do take it off”.
“Sir, you are so extremely persistent,
And I’ve never before been resistant.
But, don’t you hear the cough
Of yonder red-faced shop assistant!”.
Lyme Who Just Couldn’t Rhyme
A young man whose name is Lyme
Can never get his poems to verse.
His girlfriend Lou
Lost a boot,
Whilst composing a rather fine rhyme.
Whilst Pottering in My Brand New Back Kitchen
Whilst pottering in my brand new back kitchen
I met a beautiful young lady of Hitchin.
She jumped out of my freezer
And asked me to please her.
So I said, “I greatly admire your stichin!”.
There Once Was A Lady Of Hitchin
There once was a lady of Hitchin
Who’s curtains just wouldn’t stop twitchin.
She was shocked by the sinning
Of the young men and women,
Who she watched, whilst at her stichin!
I Met A Young Lady Named May
I met a young lady named May
Who said, “I regret I can not stay”.
I said, with tears of great sorrow,
“Young woman, each precious moment we borrow.
But, ’tis still April, my dear young May!”.
K Morris - Poet 