There was a young lady named Liz
Who said “it certainly is
A most heinous crime
When poetry fails to rhyme.
It gets me in a tiz!”.
There Was A Young Lady Named Liz
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Feet
Examining my feet
I find that they are smooth
More or less
Though I must confess
That the odd groove
Leads I know not whither.
Some find eroticism in naked feet,
Their passion grows
At the sight of dainty toes.
Others reel
On seeing a pointy heel.
They themselves lose
In girl and shoes …
What strange objects are feet
That people greet
The sight of these workaday things
With lust or disgust.
I am even told
That some feel neither, and are left cold
By these plates of meat.
There Was A Young Poet Named Dan
There was a young poet named Dan
Who’s lines point blank refused to scan.
He went out on a dinner date
With my good friend Kate
And romanced her in his van!
—
There was a young poet named Dan
Who’s lines point blank refused to scan.
He went out on a dinner date
With my good friend Kate
And enacted a cunning plan!
—
There was a young poet named Dan
Who’s lines refused point blank to scan.
He went out on a dinner date
With my good friend Kate
And talked about his first love Anne!
—
There was a young poet named Dan
Who’s lines point blank refused to scan.
He romanced a girl
By the name of pearl
But his lines refused to scan!
—
There was a young poet named Dan
Who owned a battered old van.
He went out on a date
As I did wait
In the back of his battered old van!
There Was A Young Lady Called Molly
There was a young lady called Molly
Who had a sister by the name of Holly.
One bleak day
I regret to say
They stole my shopping trolley!
—
There was a young lady called Molly
Who had a sister by the name of Holly.
One fine day
(I blush to say)
I proposed to Molly and her sister, Holly!
What Is Guilt?
What is guilt?
‘Tis Macbeth’s hands incarnadine
Turning the green seas red.
‘Tis wine
By lovers spilt
At night’s dead
Hour on quilt.
‘Tis a man’s flushed face
And a girl’s disgrace.
‘Tis a whispering voice
Which says “you had a choice
And chose
To taint the barely opened rose”.
‘Tis a cigarette
Smoked by a kind of lover
To cover
The silence of regret.
There Was A Young Man Named Sun
There was a young man named Sun
Who carried a large shotgun.
He saw a bird
Which, without a word
Shot him, just for fun!
There Was A Young Lady Named Kaye
There was a young lady named Kaye
Who had absolutely nothing worthwhile to say.
But she said it with such style
And with a bewitching smile,
So she is on celebrity TV today!
(It goes without saying that the Kay in the above limerick is wholly ficticious and that any resemblance to a person now living is purely coincidental).
Shall I Forsake Kipling And Blake
Shall I forsake
Kipling and Blake
For a dull technocracy
Where man is no longer free?
Modernity calls.
Tradition falls
Away.
We are all the same today.
But I, like some stubborn goat
Shall build a moat
Against it all
And think on ancient hall
And a simpler time
When to rhyme
Or to speak out of turn was no crime.
One must not say such and such
For it is all too much
For youth
(And some aged too)
Who refuse to
Discuss what they believe to be true
For they hate
Debate
Which made England great.
The Man Of The World’s Visitors
Most say
“I shall give it up one day.
But I have bills to pay
And its an easy way
To earn cash.
I am not rash
(Like some of the others you may know).
So let us go
To your room
Where I shall for a while
Dispell your gloom
With my painted smile”.
There Was A Young Lady Named Holly
There was a young lady named Holly
Who lived in an ancient folly.
One day at dawn
She danced in the corn
As the farmer whacked her with his brolly!
K Morris - Poet 