There is a young lady called Irene
Who I have never seen.
She has a son named Mike
Who looks very like
Me, and that young lady I’ve never seen …
I know a young lady named Moore
Who all the men adore.
She works in a club
Called the Back Rub
And the police they bang on the door …
I know a young lady of Cadiz
Who went by the name of Liz.
The police are in search of her
So now she’s known as Claire,
That versatile young lady of Cadiz!
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “it looks like rain
In that city known as Madrid.
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “you will injure your brain.
You foolish young lady of Madrid!
There was a young man called Clive
Who sat on a beehive.
With a pearcing scream
He awoke from his dream,
That fortunate young man called Clive!
There was a young lady called Claire
Who met me on the stair.
Her sister Lou
Saw us two
And gave a knowing stare …
—
There was a young lady called Clare
Who met me on the stair.
My mistress Lou
Was feeling blue
So joined us on the stair …
There was a young lady called Kate
Who married my very best mate.
When a girl named Lou
Wed him too
The judge had my mate on a plate!
There was a young lady called Kate
Who married my very best mate.
When a girl named Lou
Married him too
I ran away with that young lady Kate …
There was a young man called Pete
Who dated a girl with bare feet.
As she walked down the wedding aisle
The congregation did smile
As she had no shoes on her feet!
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who played the violin.
The dogs they would howl
At her playing most foul
So they drummed her out of Berlin!
There was a young man named Neil
Who borrowed his girlfriend’s high heel.
It suited him so well
That a journalist called Nell
Wrote a story about Neil’s high heel …
K Morris - Poet 