I know a young lady named Claire
Whose feet are always bare.
When the weather turns freezing
You may hear her sneezing,
But Claire, she just doesn’t care!
I Know A Young Lady Named Claire
2 Replies
Tag Archives: laughter
When I Met A Pretty Young Maid
When I met a pretty young maid
Who on a violin played,
And I asked, “can I fiddle?”
She played “Hey Diddle Diddle,
And said, sir, “you have not yet paid . . .”.
Wednesday Morning Humour
I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m extremely fond,
But when I suggested a date
She just couldn’t wait
To throw me in the pond!
—
I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m extremely fond.
Her name is Louise,
And being a tease
She pushed me in her pond!
—
I know a petite young blonde
Of whom I’m rather fond.
Her name is Louise
And a hive of bees
Nests in her hair dyed blonde!
—
A most saintly vicar named White
Patrols the streets at night,
Where he saves fallen women
From their life of sinning,
By taking them home at night . . .
On Going To Bed Last Night
On going to bed last night
I met 2 young ladies in white.
When I gazed in surprise
They batted their eyes
And said, “do you have lodgings tonight . . .?”.
—
On going to bed last night
I met 2 young ladies in white.
When I gazed in surprise
They said, “we shall tell you no lies,
We are vampires who haunt the black night . . .”.
I Know A Newspaper Hack
I know a newspaper hack
Who goes by the name of Jack.
He wrote a story about me
And an erotic dancer called Leigh,
I swear I’ll pay him back!
When A Man Whose Name is Grub
When a man whose name is Grub
Recited his poems in my local pub,
And he fell drunk on the floor
I called out for more,
Although his verse I never understood!
There Was A Young Man Named Frank
There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I am washing my hair
And there is deep water down there!
So I’d rather not walk the plank!”.
—
There was a young man named Frank
Who, on being ordered to walk the plank
Said, “I shall obey your command,
But we are on dry land,
So what is the point of the plank?”
There Was A Young Lady Named Lizzie
There was a young lady named Lizzie
Who was always so terribly busy.
Well that’s what she said,
But she was often in bed,
That mendacious young lady named Lizzie!
A Young Lady Who Is Extremely Sinful
A young lady who is extremely sinful,
Having imbibed more than a skinfull,
Invited me back to her pad
But, being a very good lad
I declined that young lady most sinfull!
Sea, Sand and . . .
Sea, sand and . . .
Sun kissed skin
Does not
Lead to sin
For the weather is too hot
For that,
And I quite forgot
My shoe
In the flat
Of a girl named Lou.
But enough of that
For there is sea and
Sand and …
K Morris - Poet 