There once was a young lady named White
Who stayed up for many a long night,
Writing a novel about a girl called Hocking
Who lost more than her shoe and stocking.
And the Lord Bishop was married to White.
A rather elderly gentleman named Frank
Is extremely fond of a spank,
Whilst my friend Honey
Has plenty of money,
And she likes to visit Frank.
When a young lady named Lin
Offered to help me with admin,
And I answered her, “please,yes”,
And she took off her dress,
I said, “just the admin, Lin!”.
When a lawyer named Grist
Said, “you must cease and desist!”,
A young lady named Lou
Said, “I advise you to countersue!”.
So I sued Cease and Desist!
When a young man named Lyme
Said, “I ‘ave committed a crime.
But what I ‘ave done,
I just donit in fun”,
I said, “your grammar is terrible, Lyme!”.
A young man named Lyme
Was completely obsessed with time.
But a girl from Boulder,
With a dress off her shoulder,
Made lyme forget all about time!
When a young man by the name of Lee
Said, “there are plenty of fish in the sea”,
And I said, “do you mean the dating website?”,
He said, “that young lady Miss White.
That girl you should most definitely see!”.
When a credulous young man named Perks
Said, “a ghost in the basement lurks!”.
I said, “you fool!
That is no ghoul,
It’s the late Edmund Burke’s great works!”.
A young lady named Gale
Comes from a place called Hale.
She keeps house for a vicar,
Who has a dodgy old ticker,
But her ministrations they never fail!
When the Man in the Moon
Said, “I don’t have a silver spoon”,
And he wrote lots of letters
To all his elders and betters,
They sent him a broken old spoon!
K Morris - Poet 