There was a young writer called Barett
Who had nought to eat but a carrot.
He said, to himself,
“I have little wealth
While my agent she drinks only claret!”
Tag Archives: humour
There Was A Young Man Called Hogg
There was a young man called Hogg
Who kept a very large dog.
When people asked “does it bite?”
He replied “he might,
But not if your name it is Hogg!”
—
There was a young man called Hogg
Who kept a very large dog.
They went out in the pitch black
And never came back.
I surmise they got lost in a bog.
—
There was a young man called Hogg
Who kept a very large dog.
They went out one night
And got quite a fright
From the crocodile disguised as a log …!
A Short Sighted Police Officer Called Mia
A short sighted police officer called Mia
Arrested a young lady named Tia.
On taking another look,
She said “I mistook
You for my nemesis Maria!”
There Was A Young Man Called Adolf
There was a young man called Adolf
Who was very fond of his golf.
On his wedding day
He stayed away
And played with his golfing partner Rolfe!
A Minor Poet, of Little Note
A minor poet, of little note,
Once a poem wrote.
I am sad to say,
That self-same day
His verse was eaten by a goat.
the man of letters said, in a most melancholy tone
“would that you had left my verse alone
O most vile goat
And fed
Instead
Upon my coat”.
I Heard An Angel Sigh
I heard an angel sigh
And ask “why oh why
Must I
Fly
In Azure sky.
I spy
A man below
And I would go
Amaying,
But my conscience is asaying
Angels belong up here.
‘Yet ‘tis drear
To see one so handsome and so near!
I fear
That I shall fall
And my angel dust
Shall turn to gall”.
A handsome man, looking upwards, did softly say,
“The day
Is beautiful. Pray
Float down
In your gossamer gown
From that painted sky.
Ney do not resist or frown.
You and I
May our sorrows drown
In yonder pub, for the audience refused to pay,
To see our most excellent play …!”
There Was A Young Man Called Mike
There was a young man called Mike
Who said “I can do as I like”.
He two-timed his girl
(her name was Pearl).
She said “Mike, get on your bike!”
—
The term To “two-time” is an informal way of indicating that someone has been unfaithful to their partner.
Again, the term “on your bike” is an informal way of saying “never darken my door again” or, to put it more bluntly “get lost”!
There Was An Elderly Poet Called Lott
There was an elderly poet called Lott
Who long ago had lost the plot.
He wrote copious amounts of verse,
Which grew worse and worse,
Although Lott knew it not!
There Was A Young Lady Called Lou
There was a young lady called Lou
Who caused quite a to-do,
When she lost her gown,
In the middle of town.
The crowd it grew and grew!
There Was A Young Lady Called Tia
There was a young lady called Tia
Who lived in constant fear
Of what walked behind,
For she knew in her mind,
‘Twas the devil who lurked in the rear …!