I know a young lady called Divine
Who often comes round to mine.
Her husband Bill
Swears he will
Come round but not with wine …!
I Know A Young Lady Called Divine
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Tag Archives: humour
There Was A Young Lady Named Kate
There was a young lady named Kate
Who invited me out on a date.
Her best friend Bess
Lost her dress
And kate, she just couldn’t wait!
There was a young lady named Kate
Who invited me out on a date.
When her best friend Bess
Lost her little black dress
Kate, she cancelled our date!
There Was A Young Man Named Guy
There was a young man named Guy
Who lay on the ground to die.
When it started to rain
He sang a sad refrain
Which made me want to die!
There Was A Young Lady Called Claire
There was a young lady called Claire
With whom I had an affair.
Her best friend Lou
Joined we two
Along with a girl named Flair!
There was a young lady called Claire
With whom I had an affair.
When her husband Drew
Caught us two
He kicked me down their stair!
I Met A Young Lady Called Claire
I met a young lady called Claire
Who requested a sordid affair.
Being a most moral man
I said “what is your plan
To conceal this sordid affair?”
There Was A Young Poet Called Kim
There was a young poet called Kim
Who dated a fireman named Jim.
On discovering that he didn’t like verse
Matters went from bad to worse
So she dumped that fireman named Jim!
There was a young poet called Kim
Who dated a fireman named Jim.
The vicar looked black
And said “alas, alack
I fear that Kim is wasted on Jim!”.
When A Lazy Young Author Called Gwen
When a lazy young author called Gwen
Sat on a very sharp pen,
She said, with a squeal
“I really do feel
That I ought to start writing again!”.
I Know A Young Lady Called Bess
I know a young lady called Bess
Who wears a little black dress.
She is extremely pretty
And always witty
But her hair’s such a terrible mess!
I know a young lady called Bess
Who stole a little black dress.
A policeman named More
Said “stop in the name of the law!
My love for you I must confess!”.
I Know A Young Dominatrix Named Maria
I know a young dominatrix named Maria
Who comes from a placed called Korea.
I don’t like the handcuff
Or other such stuff
But I’m very fond of Maria …
There Was A Young Lady Called Samantha
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
When the panther came back
He claimed to lack
Any knowledge of what happened to Samantha …
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
She rode away on his back
But alas, alack
Samantha now resides in my panther …
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
The creature gave a growl
Which caused her to scowl
And return my favourite pet panther …
K Morris - Poet 