There was a young lady called Caroline
Who men thought rather fine.
When out on a first date
She would always clear her plate
But she never crossed that line …
There was a young lady called Caroline
Who men thought rather fine.
She had a sister named Lou
(Who looks rather like you),
But Lou never crossed that line …
There was a young lady called Leigh
Who one day went to sea
In a fine old ship
With a dog named Chip
And a captain known as me!
There was a young lady called Leigh
Who one day went to sea
In a fine old ship
With a dog named Chip
And Chip’s friend Mr Flea
Just who
Should I return that high-heel
Shoe
To?
I feel
That it ought to be
Leigh
Or perhaps Sue.
Oh to
Who
Should I return that shoe?
Lou
Swears
That it isn’t her’s.
Then she swears some more!
Oh how I do a mystery adore!
Just who
Should I return that shoe
To?
Do tell me. Please do.
There was a young lady called Bland
Who asked for a one-night stand.
I said “that is all right.
You can stand there all night,
But she didn’t understand …!
There was a young lady called Lou
Who caused quite a to-do
When she found me in her bedroom
Bathed in expensive perfume
And trying on her shoe …
There was a young lady called White
Who died one bleak midnight.
When she entered my room
In the depths of the gloom
I received a terrible fright!
There was a young lady called White
Who died one bleak midnight.
When she entered my room
In the depths of the gloom
I said”please, turn on the light!”.
There was a young lady called White
Who died one bleak midnight.
When she entered my room
In the December gloom
I said “is that you, Miss White?”
There was a young lady called White
Who died one bleak midnight.
My good friend Jane
Does maintain
That she haunts her house at night!
There was a young lady called White
Who died one bleak midnight.
The drink making me brave
I slept on her grave
But I didn’t see Miss White!
There was a young lady of France
Who performed an erotic rain dance.
A young man walking by
Said “the weather it remains dry,
But I really like your dance!”.
There was a young lady of France
Who performed an erotic rain dance.
When a young man walking by
Just happened to catch her eye
It led to a little romance!
There was a young man called Paul
Who danced on my garden wall.
My philosophical friend Jane
Said “I do maintain
That Paul will one day fall.
“Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as
distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with
others”.
(Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”, https://www.gutenberg.org/files/972/972-h/972-h.htm
I know a young lady called Yvette
Who is a natural brunette.
When she dyed her hair blonde
In my local duck pond
The ducks did very much regret.
K Morris - Poet 